The Life and Times of Bendy Ruggles

Six Word Fridays: What's Been Up

2010-10-01T13:29:00.000-04:00

Apple picking this weekend. Can't wait.

Pumpkins, petting zoo and hay rides.

Great photo opps, and cider donuts!!

Dad, Liz, Dru, Jack, too. Yay!

Horrible family news. Praying really hard.

Fall is my favorite. So wonderful.

Crunchy leaves, light breeze, hoodies... Ahh. :)

Buying a Halloween costume pretty soon.

Ilyana is still growing too fast.

Been wanting a baby. Not yet.

Not the right time for that.

Hopefully soon, though. I love squidgeons.

Illy keeps asking. She'd share us.

Or so she says. We'll see.

Life's been crazy. I don't know.

Every time we decide, things change.

Guess that's how it goes, huh?

DO FUN STUFF!!!!

2010-08-30T09:26:00.000-04:00

<p><p>Sorry, your browser does not support iframes.</p></p>

So, the day has come for the launch of DO FUN STUFF!!, an amazing charity album whose proceeds will go to graduate students who wish to make Smith Magenis Syndrome their field of choice. If you click around the widget above, it explains pretty much everything better than I could. And if you'd like to be an awesome person, just clickity-click on the DO FUN STUFF link and you can grab this widget yourself and pass it along on your blog. The more we can raise awareness about this, the better. Make some noise peeps!!! And buy the album. Take a listen, it really is some fantastic music :)

xoxo,

Jade

Summer Reading List Book 2 of 10- Relentless Review

2010-07-13T15:36:00.001-04:00

I lied. The next book I chose to read was Relentless by Dean Koontz. I finished it on 7/5/2010. I did actually start reading the Thai cookbook already, but I am having a hard time finishing it... It's not the best instructional cookbook and I'm finding it difficult to get through just reading the recipes rather than cooking them... I find myself thinking as I read it, what's the point? So my thought now is to still finish reading it, but at the end cook a fabulous Thai meal for my family with recipes from the book along with photos and my review. So that will be more time consuming than I had originally thought and I've put it on the back burner for a bit.

Without giving too much away, the basic plot of Relentless is this: the main character is a well-renowned author. He gets a horrible review from a famous critic and is miffed about it, but under advisement of his wife and agent, doesn't do anything about it... Except show up to a place where he happens to know the critic will be having lunch. He runs into him in the bathroom and his son almost pees on the guy by accident, but nothing else is really said and there is no big confrontation. Well, it turns out that the critic is a major psychopath and he then goes on to terrorize the author throughout the book. You're not getting any more details out of me here! ;)

I liked this book. I definitely thought it took a while to get going in the beginning...in fact the first time I picked it up, I read 21 pages and didn't go any further with it for months until a week and a half ago- but after it got going, it was an interesting read overall. I find that Koontz in general is hard to put down once you get sucked into his plot line, and this one was no exception to that. It wasn't one of his best- it didn't grab me the way The Good Guy, False Memory, and From The Corner Of His Eye did- but I read it all in about two full evenings anyway, and it surely wasn't one of his worst, either. I found the last paragraph a little bit trite and semi-disappointing, but I can see how it would have felt like it was left hanging if he didn't put SOMETHING there... I just wish it would have felt more meaningful, or relevant to the overall story. A solid "B" :)

What She Says #5- Nuggets of Wisdom

2010-07-09T15:43:00.000-04:00

(photo from last year on a hike)

"Monsters like to break things... And Daddies like to fix things."

-Ilyana Arana Shayla, 7/1/2010

Our Favorite Time To Play

2010-07-01T16:30:00.000-04:00

Our favorite time to play lately is definitely dusk... we get home and unpack our days' lunches, purses, toys, get out of any uncomfy clothes we've been wearing, and then we inevitably start to hear the kids outside pushing toys around, and our new neighbors (who we've become fast friends with lately) son is outside our window screeching in his playful little boy laugh and yelling "Ee-yana? Ee-yana?" That's how we know it's time to go out and play.

It's wonderful when the sun starts to set, the days' heat starts to settle down, and the temperature is just right for running and dancing... And, while the bugs are out, we rarely notice due to the mad infestation of white spiders with creepy black stripes on their legs that has inhabited our porch. This is not my first choice of bug repellant, but we keep trying to get rid of the suckers and they just procreate more. We vacuumed them, then we squished them, and now, I think I'm starting to accept them since I don't know what else to do. I suppose if there comes a point that I can't walk outside without having one land on me, something will have to be done for good. Here are some of the latest photos of the Bend from one of our wonderful summer dusk evenings:

Dancing in the dusk...

This is her "pose" haha

Smooches for Momma :o)

Sometimes I feel like I just couldn't be any luckier... <3 xo

--Happy Father's Day Dada Ruggle--

2010-06-20T10:00:00.004-04:00

Happy Father's Day to the best darn Daddio in town.

I don't know what I would do without your hugs...

Your smooches...

Or all of our crazy memories together. You make my heart feel super happy.

I love you Dada. Big, big, big.

~Your sweet little Snug Bug Ruggle

Summer Reading List Book 1 of 10- Pretty Dead Review

2010-06-17T19:38:00.001-04:00

I finished Pretty Dead by Francesca Lia Block on 6/6/2010. I was looking forward to reading this book as Block has been one of my favorite authors for years. Her books Violet and Claire and The Hanged Man left me astounded and I immediately fell in love with her imagery. Her insight into the characters she creates always made me feel as I knew each one personally- I had seen into their deepest, darkest secrets. I was hoping Pretty Dead would have the same depth of character and vibrant imagery that I had first come to expect from Block's work.

As predicted, Pretty Dead was a very short read- a few hours at best. The story revolves around a beautiful girl named Charlotte who loses her twin brother and is so devastated by that loss that she chooses to become a vampire in an attempt to feel less. Although she now has immortality as well as beauty and wealth, she is never the same again and is always searching to fill the void left by her brother's death. Her decision to live forever plagues her as she feels no connection to the world around her... Until one day when she finally befriends a girl named Emily. Everything is fine and dandy until Emily dies too (ostensibly a suicide), leaving her alone once again. The story unfolds from there, and Amazon actually reveals more about it if you're curious but I won't blow it all (I feel like they give a lot away)... Suffice it to say that there are a few twists and turns.

The narrative of the story does read much like poetry, which is typical Block and one of the things I appreciate about her so much. The characters are generally well developed, although I didn't find them to be quite as "round" as I had hoped and found some of the characters in her other novels to be... But the biggest fault I found with this novel was that the plot itself sort of fell flat. It was somewhat predictable overall and to me, definitely not one of her best. That's not to say I didn't enjoy reading it; I still did, and I think I would still recommend it to those tweenage girls out there looking to read something fun and cool and beautiful sounding. But for intensity's sake, and for those adults who enjoy delving into young adult fiction like myself, there is something lacking here. If I had a friend who was interested in Block, I would definitely point them in the direction of- again- my two favorites by her... The Hanged Man and Violet and Claire. Each of those books gave me goosebumps when I read them and have such intense imagery that some of it has stuck with me over the years.

Maybe I'm just getting old and slowly outgrowing this genre, and if I went back and re-read either of those books, they wouldn't feel as meaningful now as they did when I read them ten years ago. It's possible. Maybe I'll have to test that theory one of these days. Next up... Book 2! Which will either be Thai cooking, or The Woods. Not sure yet!! :)

An Open Letter to My (Not So) Baby Girl

2010-06-06T12:00:00.000-04:00

Ilyana:
Ever since your birthday on May 9th, you look so big to me. It's like overnight, my little squishy baby girl has vanished. Now, I know that's not the case, but prior to your third birthday, you still seemed to me like a toddler... You were still loving Dora, still needed help with your shoes, and didn't go to the potty all by yourself. You turned three, and overnight, it's like BAM! Here's this little girl that tells me stories and runs around and goes pee all alone and can put on her OWN shoes (all the while asking "are these the right feet, Momma?") and is actually BIGGER than some of the other kids, and shows them how to play and much prefers Chowder to Dora (oh thank GOD! I like Chowder, and those freakin' Dora songs were getting really old). She helps with the dog, she doesn't like brushing her teeth or hair (don't worry hon, we make you do it anyway... pure torture, I know), and she has LOTS and LOTS of opinions about everything and isn't afraid to express them. You are becoming a girl.

It breaks my heart and makes me proud and shakes me to the core than I helped create this AWEsome (in the true sense of the word, not like the, "totally, cool man" way) person that I just know will keep blowing me away as the years go on. You are so beautiful, ridiculously smart, and a hilarious little joke-cracker. You are incredibly empathetic and sensitive at times... You can always tell when me or your Daddy is feeling down in the dumps and you never fail to find a way to make it better, whether it be with a hug or a compliment ("Daddy, you're a good guy"... "You're so BEAUTIFUL Mommy!") or just a snuggle and a big belly laugh. It's so odd to be in this position; I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my little baby, and YET, and yet... I want to freeze you in time today, because what you are today is more amazing than I could have ever hoped... And YET, again, I can't wait to see what you will become. I just know that as the years go by, you're going to keep surprising me and making me feel like the luckiest Momma around.

You love playing at the park, running around outside, watching movies, your doggie Deuce dingle (or as you call him, "Buddy"), your family, your cupcake blankie, and shopping (just like your mom...). You aren't afraid to approach any and everyone you meet, so you make friends pretty much wherever we go. You have an elephant's memory (something Cey-Cey used to always say to me when I was little!!) and can recall even the smallest details about things we did months ago. You pick up colloquialisms from us very easily and will pull them out at the most unexpected times for a good laugh ("Mommy, why do some dogs poop?" ... "All dogs poop, honey, just like people." ..."You're KIDDING me, Momma! You're just joking!" as you wave your hand in a dismissive manner)... We've been really careful what we say around you lately because you're SO verbal and smart that I know if we slip up, you'll be dropping an F-bomb at a really inconvenient time!

Lately, you've been going through a phase where it seems like every. little. thing. is a battle. You HAVE to argue about what you wear, how long we play outside, whether or not you go to daycare, when you go to bed, whether you shower or not, brushing your hair/ teeth, what we listen to in the car, etc. etc. You yell at the top of your lungs whenever I'm on the phone in the car (simply because you don't like that I'm not paying attention to YOU right then) and you screech when we sing a song you don't like. Everyone always talks about the "terrible twos" but you were a peach when you were two... I can tell our real challenge is going to be this year of three- now that you know what you want and you want it NOW and you are willing to fight for it. It's exhausting, and I feel like some days, all I say is "No!", "Not now..." "Stop that!" or "Come here Ilyana!" which makes me feel like the evil Mom of the year... But in truth, even on days when I heave a big sigh of relief at your bedtime, I'm still so proud that you are growing into an independent, crazy-haired smart little cookie. I wouldn't trade your strong will or fiery nature for anything- it's who you are and even when it's hard, I love you for it. I want you to know that every day, I wake up and thank my lucky stars that I have this healthy, gorgeous, loving little girl to call my own. When you were in my belly, I never could have imagined just how much you'd change our lives and make us grow, or just how much I could possibly love you. I thought I loved you then, before you were born... And I know I did, but it baffles me that the love I felt could just grow and grow and grow over these past three years. How is that possible? I don't know what I would do without you, my little princess, Bendy Ruggle, Lulu the ladybug, snug-bug-rugg, widgeon, noodle nose, pinchy-bum girl. Thanks for being in my life, and for making me so proud. I never could have hoped for more.

All the love in the world,

~~Your crazy Mumma~~

Summer Reading List

2010-06-04T17:22:00.004-04:00

The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory... These are the books I *hope* to read this summer. I picked ten, to try and stretch myself, considering I rarely read anymore so I doubt I'll actually get through them all. However, I truly used to LOVE to read, so I want to make more time in my life for it. I've piled all ten of these picks at the end of my bed on an unused shelf (well... it was being used by junk, which I moved. ha.) I decided on three somewhat educational books, one cookbook, and six fiction. I know that seems largely skewed towards fun, but again... Haven't read much lately. Want to get it back in my life and for it to STAY there, so I am trying to make sure I'll enjoy it :) Some of these are ones I've started reading before and never finished, some are ones I got with the intention of reading and haven't started. I'll include a picture and a short blurb about why I chose each book. I'm also hoping to post thoughts about each book after I finish it, to hold myself accountable... We'll see how that goes ;) So... Here they are, in no particular order:

(1)

Go Green, Live Rich: 50 Simple Ways to Save the Earth (and Get Rich Trying) By David Bach

I got this book a while back because I was hoping the author could dispel the myth for me that being eco-friendly is too expensive. I'm interested to see what kind of ideas he puts forth and whether they are realistic and worth trying.

(2)

Eclipse By Stephenie Meyer

I started reading the Twilight series long before it became such a thing. About a year before all the hubbub about the books began, I was browsing in Borders with a gift card I had received and came across them. I thought they looked interesting and picked up the first two. It was right after I bought and started reading Eclipse that they blew up and turned into the teenybopper fad of the year, and for *some* reason, I lost all interest in the middle of the third book. Since I did thoroughly enjoy the first books, I think it's only right that I give them one more chance and try to finish them up.

(3)

Breaking Dawn By Stephenie Meyer

Have to finish up the series! ;)

(4)

Thai Edited By Fred Sandman

I love Thai food. I want to eat more of it. I want to learn to cook it. The end.

(5)

The Welsh Girl By Peter Ho Davies

Another book I found when browsing after getting a gift card for a present... I've always been intrigued by wartime stories, and this one is also a love story... It seems like it will be right up my alley.

(6)

Bulbs in the Basement, Geraniums on the Windowsill: How to Grow & Overwinter 165 Tender Plants By Alice and Brian McGowan

I've had this for a while and I'm always lamenting about my horrible plant abilities. I figure maybe I should try to educate myself and do something about it?

(7)

The Woods By Harlan Coben

Just a fun crime drama book :D

(8)

Pretty Dead By Francesca Lia Block Finished on 6/6/2010!!

She's long been one of my favorite authors, and I don't care who knows it or judges because her books are short and are aimed at a younger crowd. Her words are always beautiful poetry and I love the way she sees the world. This is one of her new ones, that I hadn't read, and I know I'll devour it in one sitting... It's a quick read (195 very small pages) but I'm looking forward to it. Other amazing books by her? Violet and Claire and The Hanged Man, just for starters.

(9)

Getting Things Done By David Allen

A National Bestseller that I've seen mentioned in a few different places, I snatched this up when Trent over at The Simple Dollar recommended it and started doing his series about it. I've been reading The Simple Dollar for a while now and respect Trent's opinion. He said it's the one book that has improved his life the most. I figure we could all use less stress and more productivity in our lives, so I'm going to give this method a shot.

And finally, number (10)

Relentless By Dean Koontz Finished on 7/5/2010!!

Another of my favorite authors; another brand new book we bought and never read.

After I finish up with these books, I hope to try and pass some of them along on PaperbackSwap :) I signed up on there and have yet to use my account, but I am thinking if I do get back into reading, this could be a great way to keep those costs down when there are new books I want to read. Wish me luck... Reading, here I come (again)!!!

Ten Years

2010-06-04T10:53:00.000-04:00

Ten years today. We've been through a lot and I won't lie, sometimes, it's been a struggle... But I don't think anything worth fighting for is easy. I hope you know that I still love you with every inch of my soul, and I wouldn't want to live my life with anybody else. We have an amazing little family, and I am so proud of what we've overcome to create it. Thanks for sticking it out with me.

So many people have told me before that they don't know how we've done it; we were so young when we started, have been through so much, and had so many chances to walk away... I always smile and think to myself that I don't know how we wouldn't have. I can't imagine walking away and being able to stay away. I'm drawn to you and love you with the kind of passion that makes me want to fight for it. For us. For everything we want to become, and for our dreams- yours, mine, ours. Our little girl's. It still sets my heart a-flutter when you compliment me, and I still think you're a sexy beasat ;) Love changes over time... Things have settled down, for sure, and it's hard when you realize that the initial flame you had has somewhat died down... But it's settled into something that's really irreplaceable. Into something that I can fall back on when I feel like I'm losing it, into something that I can rely on, something that I know is more solid than any two-week flame of lust. Thanks for being my rock, and a better Dada Ruggle than I could have imagined. Here's hoping for ten more...

xoxo~~

Your wife.

PS: We need to get more pictures of us together. Notice the one I used? It's from Easter 08... lol! ;)

Ilyana Turns Three at Chuck E Cheese's!

2010-06-03T16:06:00.001-04:00

Better late than never!

I had been warned about doing the whole birthday at Chuck E's thing by others in the past... About how they rush you off your table, and it costs an arm and a leg, and the kids get overwhelmed, yadda yadda yadda. The thing is, growing up, my Mom used to take my brother and I to Chuck E Cheese almost every Friday, so for me, it's a place of happy memories, of fun and games and food and laughter. Sure, it's loud, and obnoxious, and LOUD, and I know that by the end of the visit, we'll all feel like zombies... But that's all part and partial to the experience, right?! Right. So we figured that while Ilyana is at the age that she truly enjoys the experience, and gets SUPERTHRILLED over it, and actually BELIEVES that Chuck E is a for-real, life-size giant mouse who only wants to party and get down and celebrate with you, we'd take advantage of that bit of innocence and let her have her Chuck E party. So we did. And overall, it didn't disappoint.

There was dancing (this was in front of a screen that projects you onto some TV's above your head for everyone in the place to watch you)

And eating...

Owen, Dru and Jack enjoying some pizza!

Mitch, Bobby and Lizzie having lunch!

There were lots of rides, games and a jungle gym:

The boys (Bobby, Jack, Mitch, Owen) all lined up playing skee-ball together! Love this pic!

Jack and Dru in the crazy jungle gym tube cage thing! Jack doesn't look happy or anything, does he?! lol!

And okay, one ride in particular that was VERY popular with the birthday girl. I'm pretty sure everyone at the party took her on this Merry-Go-Round at LEAST once ;)

FYI: the "Mare-Go-Round" as Illy calls it, is a great spot for candid shots :D

And of course, we had cake! The recipe came out pretty good, which I was nervous about since it was my first time making it... But she loved it, and I got compliments from others too. Gotta love Allrecipes! It's my go-to and it never disappoints with new yumalicious-ness. ;)

Birthday girl and her cake!!

Birthday girl, Mama Rugg (me), purty party cake... and annoying balloon string which ruined a perfectly awesome picture! GRR!!

Me and Will singing **HAPPY BIRTHDAY** to our little princess, barely believing she's already THREE!!

There were presents galore...

And Zhu-Zhus up the wazoo! We have a whole Zhu Zhu empire now. Great marketing on those things, the way they sell kids on this glorified cat toy and then have you buy all the parts separately. lol. I knew we'd be getting into those fadd-ish multi-part toys eventually, but who knew it would come so fast?! It seems like it's only been overnight since she was just my little widgeon... *sigh* And yes, I do call her my widgeon. I make no apologies. ;)

Ilyana was bowled over in anticipation waiting to see the Chuckster himself... He came out, and they hugged, and it was incredible to see the awe in her eyes and the happiness thinking that he cared about her lil' ol' birthday!

Waiting in anticipation with her puffy *birthday girl* token hat on... Here he comes! I can see him Mommy!!

Oh, Chuck! Where have you been all my life?!

Now do you see why we had to do the party here this year? Her face says it all. Pure elation.

But the one thing that we had most of at the party this year, as with any birthday with our incredible family, was...

Love.

Lots of it.

Owen and the Illmaster.

Nana, enjoying watching the kids play and have fun! :)

The guys! L to R: Will, Mitch, Bobby, and Matt. Another good pic!

While it wouldn't be my first choice for a party in the future, for all the reasons I was originally warned about (the bill does add up, and they definitely don't give you enough table time), I'm so glad we gave her the chance to enjoy the Chuck E birthday experience this year. She really had a blast, and everyone else seemed to have fun, too. For me, that's what it was all about... My heart and soul was turning three... Three?! THREE!!! And I wanted her to truly enjoy every minute of it. I know she did. My only regret is not getting more pictures, but then again, when ISN'T that a regret of mine?! ;)

Happy Birthday Widgeon. You light up my life.

Easter Hunt Rewind

2010-05-18T15:37:00.007-04:00

As promised, here I am again with some new(ish) photos from Easter... Go me! They mostly feature the infamous egg-toy-candy-junk hunt since this was only the second time (the other was last year's Easter) that I've hosted a holiday at my house, and I spent most of the weekend in the kitchen prepping, cooking, and creating a meal for the fam rather than taking pics. Last year was smaller, too, so I was a little worried about my ability to pull this off at all... but thankfully, everything went well, everyone had fun (or else they're lying to me... hehe) and none of the food was undercooked, overcooked, or burnt! YAY! Also, nobody got sick. woot woot! I had this weird fear that people would get sick after, and if they did, they would be afraid to eat my food forevermore. lol. Here's what was on our delectable menu:

APPETIZERS

* Chips/ dip
* Crudite/ dip
* Deviled eggs (of course!)
* Bacon wrapped jalepeno poppers (soooo good! These were a hit with everyone, and the guys were pretty much fighting over them. I admit, we made them for dinner one night after this... tee hee)
* Veggie pizza deal-io... Not sure what it's called, but it's good! You roll out some crescent dough, bake it, spread with a mixture of cream cheese and dressing, and top with assorted veggies. Yum.

MEAL

* Ham with citrus honey glaze. Nom nom nom...
* Lasagna
* Rosemary buttered dinner rolls
* Green bean casserole
* Roasted cauliflower
* Loaded mashed potatoes (with bacon, chives, sour cream...)

DESSERT

--notation: this was the one area I was bummed about... I just never got around to making the other dessert I had planned, which would have involved fresh fruit deliciousness... But, alas, the main meal comes first I'm afraid! :) So instead I only made...

* These adorable easter chick and lamb cupcakes!!!! Found from Betty Crocker (please excuse the photo, it's a cell phone one and I didn't take it, but I wanted to keep it real and show the actual cupcakes we- my Mom and I- made, mistakes and all... not the purty presentation cupcake pictures from the recipes)

Aren't they cute?! And really, not all that hard, either. Although after hours of cooking and hiding and wrapping and visiting and fun, I wouldn't say they were thrilling to make. But they did add a touch of whimsy and fun to the meal... which is sort of what I was going for :)

Here's a recap of what else I captured from that morning. Which wasn't a whole lot. I didn't really get ANY photos of our lovely guests, aside from the one at the end with Illy and her cousin Alli... but what can I say, it was a busy day for me! Enjoy! :D

The beginning of the hunt! It starts at the top of our stairs and winds down into the living room...

Where lots of goodies left by that big ol' bunny are to be found. Here, Illy poses with a new My Little Pony. On the head. Yes, typical pose.

Owen looks less than fully awake and entirely THRILLED to be hunting, don't you think?

But it didn't take him long to locate his basket o' goodies and start digging through. Chips, candy, gifts, and THIS cool new tee shirt, perfect for the occasion:

You can't see it fully here, but it says "Hanging with my Peeps" and has a picture of that infamous easter marshmallow candy ;)

It wasn't long before the hunt moved outside... Being that is was a nice, warm morning, we really couldn't have expected that Bunny to keep all the eggs cooped in the house, could we?!

He hid them in all sorts of funny places... By the bushes in the mulch:

In the corners of the deck:

and ALL over the yard... Here's Illy running around to make sure she hasn't missed any!

We finished up the hunt with a nice little soak in the sun...

Side note- I love this picture of my brother, the lighting is great and he looks so OLD. When the heck did he get to be so grown up?!

And a quick count of candy-booty acquired.

Look at all those eggs! She's been sneaking candy ever since this very day... lol.

And then it was off to the kitchen for me for pretty much the rest of the day, although I did get a few nice breaks to chat with everyone and enjoy their company. It was really a great time, and as much work as it is, I'm looking forward to hosting again next year (hopefully!). We are truly blessed to have a wonderful, fun family that we love spending time with. And I won't get all sappy and say much more, other than, thank you all who came. It was a blast :)

And two more quick snapshots for the road!

Illy and Alli, hamming it up!

Candy overload?

Spring Is Finally Here!

2010-05-13T13:02:00.006-04:00

For some reason, this winter seemed to drag on, even though we didn't have that much horrible weather... I think maybe it had to do with the bad economy, it was just too much, too overwhelming to think about combined with the dreary, cold, gray weather. We're thanking our lucky stars the sun is BACK and enjoying it as much as we can right now! Here are some new photos from the end of winter/ early springtime~

March- Starting her own fashion trend?

All the COOL kids are doing it...

Well, I guess if it makes you happy! And yes, we went out in public like this. Don't judge ;)

I love this next set of pictures but I figure I should give credit where credit is due... I had no part in the taking of these adorable photos, it was one of those (blessed!) nights when hubby offers to cook the meat on the grill, saving me time and energy... So they were outside playing and grilling, and I was inside doing sides and washing dishes, but he stuck his head into the window and told me to hand him out the camera because she was having such a good time... All of these ones were taken on 5/4/10.

Peek a boo!

In deep concentration...

Those croc boots are her absolute favorite shoes lately. I know a lot of people aren't big fans of the Croc brand, but I love them because she can put them on herself, they are easy to clean, and they have all different styles now! It doesn't hurt that I always find super deals on them, either ;) I believe I paid $7.99 for those boots, with shipping? Pretty awesome. I just got her a pair of Croc maryjanes for the spring and summer- I figured her feet would get pretty sweaty running around in rainboots once it gets up into the 80's and 90's, but you have to admit, they look pretty adorable even with shorts :)

I do have a few more posts in mind that are coming up. And yes, I know I haven't been keeping to my 2-posts-a-week goal since I posted it... I also know excuses are just that and aren't worth anything, but I am working on it! Between planning her party, having her party, Mother's Day, visiting, and then me feeling like crap-ola these past two days (horrible cold!! ugh!) and barely being able to think straight, I haven't gotten to it. But I will! Easter pics and Ilyana's 3rd Birthday post coming up soon... <3 ~Mama Rugg

Summer Goal Setting

2010-04-29T13:53:00.003-04:00

I have a list of things in my head that I feel I've been slacking on lately and I would really like to pick them back up... So I thought if I get them down somewhere, maybe I will be more likely to hold myself to these resolutions. I almost hate to call them "resolutions" because that word sort of has the connotation of something that you decide to do, but give up on within the week. These are NOT those kind of resolutions! ;) I have already started on some of these things, but I think I need more motivation and OOMPH behind my thoughts, so without further ado, here are my summertime goals (and beyond!):

1: Take more pictures. I don't have ANY new pictures uploaded on my facebook since last November (crazy!) and haven't taken many even if I had tried to upload them. I used to take photos of Bendy almost every day, and I would really like to get back into documenting more of our life and her growing up. I have my excuses/ reasons... Clunky camera is hard to drag around with me; batteries never charged when I need them, etc etc... But it basically comes down to, I have to COMMIT and bring it and just do it, baby! I am aiming for new pictures EVERY week. I don't want to say how many because I feel like that is setting myself up for failure, but I WILL take my camera with me to places, and I WILL document this summer!

2: I feel like this almost goes hand-in-hand with #1, but I want to keep up with the blog. At least two posts every week. I always feel like I have nothing to blog about if I don't have new pictures to share, so I think this should be easier to stick to once I have #1 down.

3: Working out... This is a running to-do list item, but I have not been getting to it as much lately as I want, and frankly, that sucks! I would really like to feel COMFORTABLE in a bathing suit (bikini? I don't want to commit to something unreachable yet, but possibly...) this summer. I want to be more fit so I can feel more comfortable in my own skin and not always be worrying about how I look! My goal for this item is 4 times per week at least with cardio, and strength training at least 2 times, but more often than that for abs.

4: Take the family camping AT LEAST once this season! We wanted to go last year and never got to it, and it's something I love... I enjoyed it a lot as a kid, it's a great, cheap, fun way to relax and spend some time together, and I know Illy will love it! So on the list it goes for this year :)

5: Visit with three friends that I haven't seen yet this year. I'm glad we have online social networking now, because if it wasn't for that, I feel like I would have lost touch with everyone! My social life has taken a nosedive since we moved to the middle of nowhere, and I definitely want to make some time to reconnect with some of my best buds :) I think a goal of 3 is reasonable, and I have some people in mind, but hopefully it will be more than that!

6: Take Bendy to the beach at least once... This is kind of an every summer goal because I grew up on the beach and love it (didn't love it so much when I lived there, but I guess that's they way things go!) but my hubby is not a big fan so we don't always make it over there. I am taking her this year even if it's just us two :)

7: Try a new food. Just because. I love food, and I like trying new things, and I want to branch out more. So there you have it.

8: Pay off a debt. Any one of the old ones on my credit report. We are trying to get closer to buying a house, and we have to do this first. Given our current situation, this one might not be achievable, but I am putting it on my list to remind me to work towards that.

9: Go hiking at least twice.

10: Visit the Farmer's Market at least twice per month... This is kind of a fun one, but also good for our health! I love the local Farmer's Market and I can't wait for it to start up again this June :)

That's it for now, but I may keep adding and updating this list as time goes on. I'd like to at least come back and cross things off, add dates, etc. once they have been achieved. Wish me luck! Summer summer, here I come! You know what they say... "It's summertimeeeee, and the livin's easy..." I can't wait to be cruising around with the music blasted and the sunroof open in the nice warm weather! We had snow here just yesterday so I'm really hoping spring is on its way for GOOD now!

~Jade

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday #27- Four Generations

2010-03-10T12:32:00.002-05:00

Picture taken on Thanksgiving 2009- L to R: Nana, Bendy, Pep (my Dad) and me. If you look over Nana's shoulder, you can also see my Pep (Pep's Dad) watching over us. Lots of love in this photo. Miss you Pep.

Our Life Lately- Catching Up

2010-03-10T12:03:00.007-05:00

A couple of photos taken in November 09 (yes I am behind!) the night we were putting up our Christmas tree.

I have been horrible about updating the blog and taking photos lately. The other day, Bendy, you looked at me and you looked like such a girl... Not a baby, not a toddler, but a girl. It makes my heart ache to think that I have only taken a few random photos in the past few months, and have missed so much I could have documented about this time in your life... but I guess all I can do is try and be better about it now that it's come to my attention.

It's been difficult lately with life flying by at its usual rapid pace, and on top of that, there are a lot of changes that may be happening in our life soon and your Daddy and I have been trying to prepare for them. With thoughts of these big upcoming shifts constantly knocking around in my head, the worrying, the stress, the wondering if everything will pan out how we hope... Well, it's been taking up a lot of space in my brain and I haven't had a lot of time to focus on other things besides work, keeping the house in order, chores, shopping, and the changes. I know I am not being specific here, but these are big changes and there isn't a lot more I can say about it here until things are finalized and I am sure what's happening. I want to be sure, and ready to take the leap, before we announce what's going on.

You have been in a bit of a mood lately, it seems like maybe the proverbial "terrible twos" are starting a little bit late for you. Or maybe, I'm hoping, it will just be a SHORT phase and only last the next few months. Whatever it is, you've been a little button-pusher lately, always testing boundaries, being bossy, not wanting to share with the other kids at daycare when you bring a toy with you, yelling and interrupting and well... TESTING. You are feeling out the boundaries for what you can get away with and what you can't, what you can control and what you can't, and whether or not you can get a different answer out of one parent than the other gave you. It's certainly trying, but then you inevitably pull out all the cuteness stops and get us right back on your side with that smirky, beautiful little smile. When I was brushing your teeth the other day, I did notice you had a molar in there that was only halfway through your mouth. I thought we were past the two year molars already (yeah, I know, shiteous parenting, I maybe should know whether or not my kiddo has all her teeth yet, but really, give me a break, she's my first and I don't know exactly how many teeth kids are supposed to get! *ahem*) but I guess I was wrong. I'm wondering if perhaps the crabbiness and bossiness has something to do with the molars...

Last weekend, during a particularly frustrating shopping trip which included you running around the grocery store like a maniac (I had let you push the mini-cart to keep you occupied, which worked out great in the beginning but backfired on me towards the end when you were too tired to listen or pay attention to where you were driving the damned thing) and rolling around on the dirty floors in front of the other customers on a SATURDAY (aka one of the busiest shopping days at the grocery store), I heaved a heavy sigh. You knew you had been bratty and you immediately knew I was just tired and on my last leg that day, and you looked up at me and said "Mommy. Look me in the eyes. I'm very worried about you, and I'm very sorry." It pretty much made me melt, and made the whole day seem a little bit better. You know just the ways to cheer me up, even when you're the source of the frustration in the first place :)

Your birthday is coming up pretty soon, and I've already booked a spot at Chuck E Cheese for the party. We haven't done one of these at-a-location shindigs yet, but you had so much fun at the last few Chuck E parties you were invited to, and enjoyed it SO much, that we thought this year would be a perfect time to try it out. I've already sent out invites and we're hoping it will be an incredible time for you. You deserve it, sweet pea. Daddy and I haven't decided yet if we are going to tell you about the party being at Chuck E's or if we'll just tell you it's your birthday but let the Chuck E part be a surprise... I wish we could know what you'd like better. Funny story: when I was turning three (I think? Mom? Is that right?) I begged for weeks to have a surprise party. I don't think I really knew what it meant, just that it would be fun and all my friends would be there, and I certainly didn't realize that asking for a surprise party kind of defeats the purpose. But Cey-Cey managed to pull it off, had sent me to Bushka's house the night before and nobody had told me it was my birthday. When Bushka brought me home and I was greeted with a loud "SURPRISEEEEE!!!" at the door by my family and friends, I was terrified! I screamed and ran and hid under the stairs in the hall in our apartment complex, and it took a lot of coaxing for Cey-Cey and Pep to get me back out. I wouldn't want to freak you out like that! So we'll definitely let you know it's your birthday... But I'm thinking you might like the special surprise of Chuck E Cheese more if we wait until we get there to let you know that's how we're going to celebrate.

I have a few new(er) pictures that I have managed to take over the past few months that I keep forgetting to upload onto the computer. I am going to try and get those up here soon because god, you are growing so fast... and I really want to keep this going so you can look back someday and see how loved you were and how much we enjoyed all of our time with you. No matter what changes we go through as a family, no matter how worried/ stressed/ preoccupied we become with other things, THAT will never change. You are the light of our life and you make me smile each and every day.

Your First Movie Theater Experience

2010-01-20T12:07:00.003-05:00

To my crazy little whack bean:

We took you to the movie theater for the first time ever this weekend. We went to see Disney's "The Princess and the Frog", which you've seen the previews for and been getting excited about recently. You already own a pair of PJ's with the Princess on them that you got for Christmas, too.

I have to admit, I was excited to see it myself- I knew that the music from it was getting rave reviews all over the place, and TIME magazine voted it the BEST movie of 2009. I convinced your Daddy that we needed to take you to see this new Disney movie and we decided last weekend was a good one, since I had to stop by Cey-Cey's house anyway to get my coupon binder back. After seeing The Princess and the Frog, I have to agree that it was probably one of my favorite movies from 2009, as well. The characters were great, and it was a wonderful return to the classic animated Disney flick with great music to accompany it. I'm a total Disney freak, and I grew up with those classics- ones that you will probably be familiar with yourself before too long- so it was very nostalgic for me. We'll definitely be buying that Blu-Ray when it comes out :D Don't get me wrong, I love the new computer animated (CGI) Disney/Pixar movies, too... but it had been a while (almost ten years I think!) since they'd done one in the classic style, and I definitely think it was a long time coming. Disney always pulls off a great balance between touching emotion and interesting storyline for adults and fun, silly characters and constant action for children. But, I digress.

I was a teensy bit nervous taking you to the theater, but to be honest, I wasn't THAT worried. You're one smart little cookie and you are VERY well behaved when you want to be :) So I knew that if I explained the situation to you, you'd handle it like a champ. And I was right.

We told you over and over on the way down that there would be other people watching the movie too, so if you needed to talk to Mommy or Daddy, you'd have to make sure to whisper. When we got there, I took you to the potty (Bravo on potty training by the way! You are doing great these past few days...) while Daddy got us our tickets, soda, popcorn and Sour Patch Kids.

We settled into the row right behind the platform they have for wheelchairs and whatnot- which is pretty close to the front of the theater. It turned out to be a good thing towards the end, because about 15 minutes before the end of the movie, we heard a little girl in the back yell "I'm TIIIIIRRREEEDDDDD!" and then you could just feel all the kids in the theater getting antsy at once. The other girls that were in the row with us stood up, and so did you, but it was fine because of the stadium seating (see, being picky about theaters DOES pay off!) and the fact that there was nobody in front of you, so you had room to stand and wiggle a bit without bothering people.

It was so adorable to see you sitting in that movie seat. You don't quite weigh enough to hold the seat all the way down, so you were having a lot of fun bouncing up and down in it. These are the moments when I smack my forehead and wish I had a smartphone with a decent camera- I never remember to bring my digi with me for things like this, and I so wish I had a picture of you enjoying your first movie, munching on popcorn. You really thought you were the cat's meow sitting in that seat, sharing snacks with your parents :D

Through the ENTIRE movie, you remembered to whisper instead of talking... Granted, it was a somewhat elevated whisper ;) but it made me smile every time. You're such a good listener, and I'm so proud to bring you places... People are always amazed at how smart you are and how well you behave. I tell you, little girl, you just shine like a star.

Every time a kid would walk by us with their parents during the movie, you would poke your little head out from your seat, look at them, and in the loudest whisper you could manage, say "HIIII!" It was so funny to see, because every time you'd do that, the other kid would kind of stop, look around for you, and wave or smile back...I swear, if it hadn't been a movie where you had to sit and be quiet while it was playing, you probably would have left that place with a boatload of new friends.

We had such a great time taking you out this weekend, and it made me more confident that you can handle events like that well, even if you are required to be quiet most of the time. I feel so blessed to have you and your Daddy... The day out together was so fun, just getting to spend some quality time together and laugh and smile and gain some perspective... That no matter how tough these economic times get, we have each other and THAT is something to be grateful for.

As we were watching the movie, you were so enraptured by the music and the big screen in front of you... And I looked over your head at your Daddy and together we shared a smile that was really meaningful to me. Though we didn't exchange a word, I think we both felt the same way: in awe and gratitude over having such an amazing little girl, and proud of ourselves for having created such a close-knit family. We've had some rough times over the years, but I would do it all over again if that's what it took to be where we're at right now. With all the saddening news and shocking images that have been circulating over the past week from the earthquake catastrophe in Haiti, it really makes me pause and remember how happy I am, and how, in the big scheme of things, our life is pretty damned good.

Catching Up! Halloween 2009 :)

2009-12-15T11:45:00.007-05:00

I am so far behind on blogging right now it's not even funny!

With all of the Christmas shopping, decorating, visiting, partying, and general merry-making I just haven't had a lot of extra time lately, and to be frank, I haven't really been in the writing mode... I absolutely love the holiday season and I have really been enjoying it and putting some energy into it this year. Being able to combine my new hobby- couponing and deal seeking- with the holiday preparations like SHOPPING and cooking is so much fun! Plus, what little extra bits of time I have found here and there have been totally eaten up by trying to keep my house clean- (HA! yeah right, every time I clean up one mess another one sprouts in a different location, it seems) and spending quality time with my amazing little Ruggle. But I am really trying to get back into the swing of things now and my goal is to be all caught up with major event posts (ie, Halloween, Thanksgiving, tree decorating, and Christmas itself) by New Years.

So, without further adieu, here are the photos from Halloween this year! Bendy wanted to go as a bumblebee at first, but we agreed on a spider costume, since her two middle names mean "spider fairy" :) That is a long story in itself, which I'm not sure if I've told on here or not, but will have to wait for another day if not.

Later, as we were explaining to her the meaning of her names, she decided she actually wanted to go as a spider fairy! I told her she could wear her light-up wings and bring her wand, and she'd be the only little spider fairy trick-or-treating in town... So she started off as a spider fairy, in the beginning of the night:

At home just after getting dressed!

Full look at the costume. I am absolutely in LOVE with Old Navy's Halloween costumes. They are made of fleece, so they're nice and warm- awesome for those of us in climates where snow on Halloween is really possible- are very reasonably priced, and super cute to boot. See the little baby spider sticking out of her pocket?

Before we even left our house, though, she had shed the wings and wand. Which was fine by me- fewer questions about what she was going as meant less explanation, which meant? More. CANDY! ;) Oh and also less for her to carry, which turned out to be a very good thing.

We started out our trick or treating at the Powerhouse Mall. We did the same last year because they start their trick-or-treat earlier than most of the other places in our area, and it's also nice because it's sort of small (each store has a couple of employees sitting out front handing out candy)... So it's a good place for the kiddos to get a feel for how the whole trick-or-treat deal works, in case they don't remember, it doesn't take a long time to get through, and is inside, so if there is questionable weather, which there was this year (we ended up finishing trick or treat in a drizzle) you don't have to worry about it!

Here are some pics from the Powerhouse:

In the parking lot with Daddio waiting to go in...

One of her first stops in the mall! She wasn't sure if she wanted to grab that candy or not... But after a couple minutes, she really started getting the hang of it :)

Walking through the mall holding Daddy's hand.

She kept on grabbing Dum-Dums out of every basket in the mall... I was trying to hint to her to grab the Reese's and Snickers, but she loves lollipops so much she wasn't listening... Kind of stinks cuz Dum-Dums cost what, like a buck a bag or something?! lol... I would have happily bought her a bag of Dum-Dums to trade for a bag full of Reese's, Snickers and Starburst ;) Although in a way I'm glad she went for the lollipops, then I wasn't as tempted by her stuff, and my thighs don't need more chocolate! lol

While we were at the Powerhouse, we ran into one of her friends from daycare, whose Mom also happens to be a coworker and friend of mine. I wasn't too surprised, because she's the one who tipped me off to start at the Powerhouse, so I knew she'd be heading there too at some point! Here's Illy bug and her friend, "M" posing for the other camera! I couldn't manage to get one with the both of them looking at me and smiling, so this was the best shot I could find:

And this was the other one I tried getting before they ran away, but I was just a second too late, Illy was already done posing and pointing in another direction... At some candy? I think. lol.

Then it was time to head back home to Enfield and do our town's trick or treat. We went out with our neighbors and their kids, "K" and "B", who were dressed up as a princess and a cowboy. The pictures of the three of them together are just precious:

Hmm.. Take 1: B's hat is missing, Illy is zoning out and playing with her face... Nobody is looking.

Take 2: B's hat is on, but I got his Dad's hands in the pic! Only Illy is looking. Let's try this one last time...

Take 3: Cheese! I think this is the best of the three... I think? lol. B has his hands on his face... Illy is looking up but not at the camera. But K has a great big smile and everyone's costume is on and complete. I call that a win :)

We thought the rain might just miss us, because as we were getting ready to go, it seemed like it was holding off, but as soon as we started walking down our road, the drizzle began. Luckily for us, it was pretty warm out, and the rain stayed at a light drizzle all night, so we were able to finish our trick or treating comfortably, with some minor adjustments:

This was the "cumbrella" (as she called it) that Illy carried around all night. It's K's, but they were nice enough to let us borrow it because we don't have one (whoops!). Even when it would stop drizzling for a while, she needed to have it. To be carrying it at ALL times when she wasn't gathering candy. Definitely prolonged the trick or treating a bit! lol.

Ilyana also made up a little ditty to sing as we walked in between all the houses, and soon all three kids (okay, okay, me and Will too!) were singing it: "We're on our way to trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat, we're on our way to trick or treat..." It was so cute listening to them sing and being so excited about the night! I think it made Illy feel pretty cool too, that she made up a song that K was singing, since she looks up to K as the bigger girl. :)

So we walked around a couple of neighborhoods in our area, gathered a good amount of sugar booty, and then headed down to the Fire Station. They were giving out candy and cider and doing some crafts with the kids... But the coolest reason we were headed down there had nothing to do with the events that they were holding for everyone... We went down there for THIS, in particular:

The pictures aren't great (I was trying to take them through a rainy windshield in the dark... gimme a break! lol) but they are of Illy and B sitting in the firetruck! Yes, our neighbors happen to know one of the firemen, and he was nice enough to let our little pumpkins sit in the big red seat and pretend they were driving! They loved it, and it was the perfect topper to a wonderful Halloween night.

We had a blast this year- it was so much fun watching the girl get the hang of trick or treating and actually understand it fully- she was really too young last year to totally grasp what was going on. Even with the drizzle, it was a great night out in warm weather with friends and my wonderful family, and it won't soon be forgotten. :)

Apple Picking at Wellwood Orchards, 10/11/09

2009-10-15T12:14:00.013-04:00

I love apple picking.

My Dad used to take me every year when I was younger, and it's always been a tradition I knew I would continue with my own children. Autumn is my favorite time of year, and being out in nature, with the crisp, cool air uniquely smelling of fall and the gorgeous views... Well, it's just incredible.

Watching the leaves turn around you as mother nature begins her preparations for the deep freeze puts things into perspective and reminds you that the old adage "This, too, shall pass" is not just a silly phrase.... And yet, while life continues to move along, with so many things changing, and my little bend continues to grow "bigger and bigger each day" (as she would say!) , some things will be the same, year after year.

We went to Wellwood Orchards last year and absolutely loved it. With all they had to offer- the u-pick apples, pumpkins, the petting zoo, wonderful views, hayrides, freshly made cider doughnuts and various other goodies... It was a no-brainer that we go back there again this year.

It was a chilly, overcast day, but through our whole vacation last week, this was the first day that seemed to have promising weather (read: no rain). We decided to tough it out and figured we could warm ourselves up with hot cider if needed :)

We were struck by the old look of this barn against the clouds when we pulled up, so Will took a couple of shots of it. I'm pretty sure he's going to enhance this one in photoshop, but I already like it.

There was a pretty hefty breeze right when we arrived... luckily it warmed up soon after, but in this picture the poor Bend was freezing her little bum off. Hence the funny face. We decided to go into the store to warm up, grab our apple bag, and get some fresh doughnuts and hot cider to warm our bones :)

She thought this was the funniest thing!

She actually wanted to be a honeybee for Halloween originally... I had decided we would go with an Old Navy costume again this year because last year the one we got was really good quality, really warm, really cute and a really good price... So I had her go onto the website with me and try to pick one she liked. Well, of course she picked the honeybee, which was the ONLY one not on sale! You know me, can't pay full price for something when I could get it cheaper... So I had her pick her next best fave, which was the spider. And since her two middle names mean "spider fairy" I told her she could wear fairy wings and bring her wand, and be the only little spider fairy trick-or-treating! So it worked out in the end... But she definitely got a kick out of being a bee for a minute here!

She was trying to look down to see how her body changed into a bee... lol!

Going to say "hello" to one of the chickens that escaped from the petting zoo! And some random lady's butt. Sorry about that, but there wasn't really a way to crop it without cutting off Bend or the chicken. *sigh*

Pumpkins and squash and tractors, OH MY!

Ilyana hanging out with Daddio, waiting for the "hay"ride. They didn't actually use hay on this one... They opted for the more high-tech option... Benches!

Ilyana and I... on her first hayride :D She had a blast, absolutely loved it! She kept asking all day if we could go back on the hayride...

For posterity! This is what your first hayride looked like, Bendy Rugg :)

And this is the view, looking back down onto the store, from the hayride up into the orchard.

Ilyana and Daddy, scoping the trees for the best apples left! Turned out, this was the second to last weekend of u-Pick apples this season, so most of the types had already passed. Good thing we made it!

Taste test... Result? Semi-bitter but yummy! We grabbed a couple of those for baking...

I absolutely love this picture of Ills and her Dad. It's a little dark, I need to have Will touch it up still since I'm not as good in photoshop as him... But still, one of my faves from the day. Can't you just feel the love?!

Through the leaves shot of me and the Bendy. I like this one :)

She was getting frustrated that she couldn't get the apples down, so I was showing her how to twist them off.

The best apples are always up high, where they get lots of sun... So we find creative ways of getting at them! Here's Bendy sitting on my head trying to reach one...

And here she is getting a lift from her Dada.

For about half the time that Will and I were picking apples, Ilyana was busy playing "Where's Ruggle?" She thought it was awesome to keep running away from us and hiding between the trees. Ahh, sweet freedom!!

Bendy hider...

There she is!

"I finally caught you, you crazy little bean!"

Or maybe not... She went limp like a rag doll and didn't want me to pick her up. Apparently "Where's Ruggle?" was far too fun a game to give up so easily.

But then I told her Daddy needed her help. And since she LOVES to help with anything grown-up, she rushed right over. She was standing next to him. He would grab the apples, hand them to her, and she would drop them in the bag. Now that's some good teamwork. :D

Whoops, dropped one!

Gorgeous views of the mountains. Here we're looking down on the store- on the bottom left- from up in the strawberry patch area.

More views... And my handsome hubby :)

She was a little crabby here... Something about not wanting to share something that wasn't hers with another little boy there. Yes, we're working on sharing... lol

"What's that?"

Pretty girl. Finally has enough hair for it to blow in the breeze! :)

Dada and the Rugg

Watching the hayride head back down...

We were sort of trying to do a new version of last year's apple bin photos with this next series... But with the bad lighting on this overcast day, we didn't have as much luck. These came out good, but not as good as the ones from last year... Those are still some of my all-time favorites of her :)

Why are you taking so many pictures of me??

*Peek*

Nom nom nom...

And here she is trying to pet chickens that escaped from the petting zoo... Those tricky chickens are masters of evasion, though!

And this is just a bunch of bins full of apples, stacked up together. I thought it looked cool.

We had so much fun at Wellwood this year, and we'll definitely be returning again! Hopefully next year with some family and/or friends... It's an experience for sure, and those cider doughnuts are DELICIOUS!

Filling Daddy's Shoes!

2009-10-13T15:57:00.004-04:00

Sometimes, you just want to be a grown-up, so you try and imitate the things we do.

It's pretty funny to watch you piece things together in your head sometimes... like- "Hmm, how can I be just like my Daddy? I know! I'll wear his SHOES!"

"I'll sit on the floor and put them on, no matter how long it takes me... You know what they say! If at first you don't succeed, try, try again..."

It's a little bit of a task to walk when your shoes are many MANY sizes too big. But you, my princess- you are nothing if not determined and headstrong.

So you just stood for a minute, thought about your next move...

Did a little stretch...

And got on with it.

I think that's a lesson you'll be able to pass on to many people in life... When faced with an obstacle, don't give up. Pause, think, reflect, stretch, then plow ahead with reckless abandon :)

Three Generations of Spunk

2009-10-01T11:31:00.003-04:00

Pictures taken on Saturday, September 26th, 2009 at Cey-Cey and Grumps' house.

Three generations of spunky, wonderful, loving women (not to toot my own horn or anything! hehe)-- Cey-Cey, Me, and the Bend Ruggle herself!

You are my two favorite *girls* in the world :)

What She Says... About TV & More

2009-09-22T11:52:00.006-04:00

Pictures of Illy playing in Cey-Cey's garden, 9/12/09

* * * * *

One day after work last week, I was doing the dishes and Will was doing some work on his computer, so Ilyana was playing in the living room with some kind of a cartoon on the TV in there...

She called out to Will and said: "Dada, can you turn on the news?"

He kind of looked at her baffled, and then said, "Okay, honey, bring me the remote and I'll turn the news on."

She carried in the remote to him, he changed it while she watched, and once the "news" (it was Daily Show, so not *news* news, but still...) came on, she said: "Okay, I'm just gonna go watch the news now."

And she did.

My girl is such a character. Although I am glad she's showing some interest in current events. Ha!

* * * * *

A couple nights later, we were all eating dinner in the living room with the TV on... **As an aside: Yes, I know we should really try to eat at the kitchen table (and without the TV) more, but when your kitchen table is small and doubles as a mail station/ computer desk, it makes it hard. I am just happy we manage to all eat together every night.**

Ilyana had been watching her show while I was getting our plates ready, but when we came out to eat, Will grabbed the remote and started looking for something we might all enjoy. Well, Illy wasn't having that. As he flicked through the channels, she goes:

"Dada, I want to watch my show."

"Dada, I want my show on...."

"Dada..."

He finally picked something, and as soon as he clicked "enter" to go to that channel, she shouts:

"DADA! That's not VERY NICE!!"

* * * * *

Last night, she was drying off with her towel after a shower, and I told her to come in her room to get in her diaper and pjs... She did, and after that was done, she looked at me, looked at her towel and said, "Let's have a picnic!"

She proceeded to lay the towel out flat on the ground and said "See, it's a picnic!" And then grabbed a bunch of her kitchen setting toys and had a mini-picnic with us right before bed... She made us some "SCUN" to eat (I have no idea what kind of food that's supposed to be, but I told her it was delicious!) and we had to pour the "tea" into our mouths because we couldn't locate any of her cups... And yet, it was still one of the best picnics I've ever been to :) She makes me smile every day... I love you Bendy Ruggle!

Crabby Girl In a New Coat...

2009-09-11T14:40:00.006-04:00

I bought Ilyana an awesome jacket for fall from Old Navy this past spring when all the winter stuff was on sale... Now I can't remember whether or not it was when they had their "additional 50% off all clearance" sale or not, but either way, the tag, when I took it off this morning, said $4.99. So I either paid $4.99 for this gem, OR a ridiculously amazing $2.50. I think it is SO cute! I want one for myself! It's fleece-ey feeling on the inside, super comfy, and perfect for this sweater weather we've been having! This morning, when Will saw her, he couldn't resist getting a few snapshots (ok, ok, I MIGHT have suggested that I could use a couple new pics for the blog, but still... he had already grabbed the camera). She was in a little bit of a crabby mood- you can see it in the pics, I'm sure. But here she is, this morning, all dressed to go to daycare in her brand-spankin'-new jacket!

He did manage to get one big smile and a "CHEEEEEESEEE!" out of her before we went outside...

But it was all downhill from there...

"Dada, I'm very cold." That's what she said here... Kind of made me feel bad... But, I mean... She was wearing a fleece jacket. It was almost 50 degrees outside. It's not like she was out in a blizzard in a bikini! Sheesh. If she's already cold, I guess I better bust out the mittens, cuz' it's only getting colder! lol. We live in New England, baby! Time to toughen up! ;)

And this one. I just love it. My handsome husband and beautiful daughter, looking sweet, with the fallen leaves from the tree in our front yard in the background.

*sigh* I love the fall. It's my favorite season.

First Attempt At Fondant!

2009-09-08T15:47:00.004-04:00

I know it's been a while. At least I feel like I'm not alone in this bloggy funk... As I've been surfing the blogosphere these past few months (yes, yes, I am still reading everyone! lol) I've noticed the theme of lost mojo kind of floating throughout posts, a strand tying many of us together this summer in our absence.

There was one day in particular that TWO of the people I regularly read- Issa and Mammatalk, if you wanted to know- both posted about this phenomenon. I feel semi-guilty for not posting as much as I had hoped... But then I start to think again on who this blog is really for, and I cut myself some slack. If it's been a slow two months, then it has... I'm not going to force my own hand at keeping our memories recorded. When something exciting happens, I know I'll get it in here :) In the meantime, I've decided that everyone's mojo must be off on a tropical vacation together... Speaking for myself, I know my mojo is probably in Hawaii, a place I've always wanted to go, sipping Pina Coladas and getting the tan I can never achieve on a much more gorgeous beach than we have here in New England. I've come to terms with that... I'm just hoping it's considerate enough to bring me back some kind of a tchochke or at the very least "My mojo went to Hawaii and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"...

Now then. Onwards with today's post, I suppose!

Yesterday I was watching Cake Boss- which I actually don't like as much as Ace of Cakes, but you know, that's what was on- and I decided to FINALLY try and make some fondant. I've been wanting to for a while- I love watching these types of shows and have always been amazed at how beautiful the cakes come out- but I've been a little intimidated. It just looks daunting. Rolling it out big enough? Not ripping? Getting the color right? Eeeeeek!

Last night, though, I decided to go for it! I made marshmallow fondant- for two reasons... (1) I had heard it was easier to make, and I had the ingredients on hand; and (2) I have also heard that regular fondant tastes like CRAP. This fondant tastes SUPER sweet, but at least it tastes ok.

We decided on making a strawberry shaped cake (hubby helped me with this! I can't take ALL the credit) since the cake mix I had was strawberry flavored. Yes, I used mix... I wanted to focus my energy on dealing with the fondant, not making cake from scratch. Next time perhaps :)

Here's how it ended up:

Pretty cute for a first try, I think! Will had the great idea of using the mini chocolate chips for the "seeds" on the strawberry. I learned quite a bit from this one time, and I think maybe for Illy's next birthday I'll try something with fondant now that I have attempted it once... I won't be as scared of it as I was anymore!

So, what did I learn, you ask?

(1) Fondant kneading is a WORKOUT. Eep, it took forever to mix those colors in! I think next time instead of mixing the color into the fondant after making the batch, I'll make smaller batches and drop the food coloring in while I'm mixing the batch originally. That way I don't have to mix twice... Although I'm sure it's good for your biceps, if that's what you're going for!

(2) Fondant does NOT like to be red. This color? On my strawberry? Yeah. That was about 3 different doses of the "Super Red" color, which I assume is supposed to look like a firetruck. At least, that's what it looks like on the cap. And then some brown, too, to see if that would darken the color. It didn't. I finally gave up adding color and decided I'd have a pink strawberry and live with it. In the future... Avoid reds. lol!

(3) Don't use frosting as your glue to hold things together. Or, if you do... Use very small brushes, and very small amounts. I ended up with white frosting "glue" coming out at my seams and on the top of the cake, which totally stunk! Grrr...

(4) I also had some issues with ripping- so next time, I'll keep the rolling surface very well powdered (with powdered sugar)... and also cut the fondant bigger than I need it to be. I had a couple areas that didn't look so neat on the edges because the fondant wasn't big enough to "wrap" around the bottom of the cake.

That's all. I have to say, I am proud of myself! It's not perfect, but for a first try... At least it's recognizable as a strawberry! :D

Things You Love... Part 1?

2009-08-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Illy bear-

I don't know if you've noticed a trend, looking back at these photos from whatever age you are now (at least I hope you're doing that... that was the whole purpose of this blog :D). There is one item that can be found in many, many photos of you... And many days on your body, as well. Can you guess from the picture below?

It's your rainbow necklace. The very first thing that you EVER picked out on your own, unprompted by either your Dad or I. Your very first fashion choice, the very first thing you felt a NEED to own.

You and I were shopping in Wal-Mart one day, walking through the toddler section to check if there were any clothes on super-clearance, when you looked up at me with this sweet little smile and pointed to the rack with all the hair thingamabobbers, gloves, hats, and other random accessories on it and said "Mama, I want THAT."

So I stopped, because we weren't even looking at that rack. It must have just caught your eye. I thought about it, and you had been very well-behaved that day, so I figured I would get you what you wanted. I picked up a headband and said "Oh, you mean this?"

"No, Mama. THAT." *points at the rack again*

I picked up a package of elastics: "This, you mean?"

"NO, Mama. THAT." *points*

I picked up a cute little baseball cap: "This?"

"NO, Momma. I want THAT." *points*

Finally, I came to the rainbow-colored necklace and bracelet set- "This?"

*Big grin cracks across your face* "Yeah. That." And you took it from me, immediately started playing with it, and remained content the rest of the way through the store.

Ever since that day, you've loved your necklace. It's your big statement. You wear it with anything- which is perfectly fine with me, since being multi-colored, it always matches :) You usually don't wear the bracelet- opting instead to let your Dora doll wear it as HER necklace.

When we got home the other day, you walked in the door and the first thing you said was "It's so nice to see you, necklace!" since you had forgotten it at home that morning. Now THAT's love. :D And (aside from your Mommy and Daddy- and of course, the rest of our awesome family), it's one of the first things you've developed an attachment to.

2009-07-31T08:00:00.003-04:00

Graphic courtesy of Tonya! :)

I'm sort of cheating on this week's Friday Fill-Ins, because this is actually yesterday's fill-in. They apparently do a new one every day now... But since I have been in such a rut, and not posting as much as I should, I am getting a jump start and doing this on Thursday ;) If you would like to check out everyone else's fill-ins, or just see what today's fill-in actually is, check out their SITE.

And now, on to the fill-ins!

1. Being set back is not the end of the world.

2. Sitting here, listening to the sound of rain falling, I appreciate all that I have, especially my wonderful family.

3. Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream tastes so good!

4. Sometimes, putting others first is necessary.

5. Watching a storm roll in is breathtaking, really.

6. Well, maybe there is something waiting on the horizon.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to gotta clean up before my parents come tomorrow (not looking forward to it, but it has to be done!), tomorrow my plans include snuggling the girl before we head out to New York to try and win a car(!!) and Sunday, I want to get home, do any shopping I have to do, and prep for the week! My Sunday one is always the same... lol... Guess I am a little boring, but I love my simple life :)

What She Says... The Third :)

2009-07-30T12:25:00.005-04:00

She's getting so big! I love this picture... taken 7/8/09 at Fort Constitution Park in New Castle, NH

(1) Illy's been calling wax beans (which I make a lot for our veggie with dinner) WHACK BEANS! It makes me smile every time she says it, and I've taken to calling her my little whack bean when she starts acting crazy...

(2) She is definitely getting into that terrible two phase! I had thought for a while we would somehow avoid it... but no such luck.The past few weeks, her little attitude has been creeping out at random intervals.

She told Will not too long ago, when we were in the car and he was teasing her and said something she didn't like- "Don't talk to me!"

Yesterday was a rough day for her (at home... either her sitter is a big liar or she flips a switch when she goes there, because I always get good reports when we pick her up...). In the morning, she refused to get dressed (turned into a floppy little rag doll wiggle-worm who refused to cooperate with the whole clothing thing), laid on the floor and screamed all morning. Everything we said to her was met with a screech or a whine... Not the best way to start your day! I tried talking to her to see what was wrong and she said "Leave me alone! Don't touch me, Mama!" UGH.

(3) She thinks she is a big girl now, and she tells us. All. The. Time. It breaks my heart when I ask her if she wants me to hold her hand on the way down the stairs, or if she needs help with something, and she says "No, I a big girl." *sigh* Where did my little baby girl go??!

(4) There's a new baby at her daycare, and she absolutely adores him. She sings to him a lot, and her sitter tells me she likes to sit near him, too. She has been telling me lately that she has a baby sister... When I asked her what her sister's name was, at first she told me "Orange"... but the past few times the name has been "Triangle". LOL! I wonder if this *sister* is an orange triangle... Or if she had a name change ;)

(5) I was out shopping last weekend, and I called Will to let him know I was on my way home. Will told Ilyana "Momma's going to be home soon!" and she got all excited, ran downstairs, and peered out the window saying "Mommy! Mommy!"... He realized that she hadn't fully understood what he said and so he told her again- "No, honey... Mommy's not home yet, she's going to be home SOON. She's on her way."

She looked at him with big eyes and a pouty little lip and said... "OH... You lied to me??" I know... AWWW, right?!

(6) We went to Portsmouth this past Saturday to see the play "Grease" in the park. It went late, and she was very tired by the end... Although she was a good sport through the whole thing (and by that I mean that she didn't scream and cry... she did sing VERY loudly during it, but I figured that was fine since we were in an open space) at the end she just kept saying "Momma, I tired. I want to go home and sleep in my bed."... "Mommy, I want to go home."... "Momma, I want to see Dada"... (he didn't go with us.) etc, etc.

On the way out of the park, I was pushing her in her stroller and wearing her glow-necklace (my stepmom had brought some for my brothers and her- smart move!) because she hadn't wanted to wear it. She looked up at me and said "Momma, where's my necklace?" So I took it off and handed it to her and said- "It's right here, honey. Here you go." And she looked at me with her tired little face and said "Momma, I like sharing with you." And then I melted. But not before telling her "Thank you, baby. I like sharing with you, too."

Exciting News... and a Moral.

2009-07-22T12:33:00.004-04:00

My phone has been dead since last Saturday.

This weekend, we were away for two birthday parties- brother and nephew- and I forgot to bring my charger. Then, when I got home, I just kept forgetting to charge it. Finally, last night, I remembered to plug it in. Got up this morning, and I had three messages. The first two were just from my Mom and brother on Saturday, wondering when I would be arriving. The last one was from...

A guy at Price Choppe r. I almost don't want to write this out, because I'm worried in some weird superstitious way I'll jinx it... BUT... he was calling to tell me I was chosen as a semi-finalist in their Fuel Advantedge Win A Car sweepstakes! The message was left on Monday at around 12:30 PM.

The only problem was that he said I had to call him back within 24 hours (he said by around 1 PM on Tuesday) to participate, and I didn't get the message until this morning! ACKKK!

I immediately called his number back and explained on a message that my phone had been dead, I just got his message, and that while I knew I had probably already been disqualified, if there was ANY chance of me still participating, I would love to! All the way to work I was kicking myself silly... Nobody ever calls me except my hubby and Mom, and here I was, one of the first times in months I hadn't had my phone for a few days, and THIS happens! What are the odds??! I asked my hubby that very question and he said "Low. So low, in fact, that nothing like this will probably ever happen to you again." Yeah, thanks buddy, I realized that! *smacks forehead*

Anyway, I got to work this morning, and the guy called me back. He said "You'll be happy to know I hadn't called anyone else in your place yet, so you're in!" And then he went through the whole shebang of info, asked me the necessary questions (yes, I'm over 18; no, none of my friends or family work for Price Chopper) and sent me a packet to fill out and sign.

I nearly peed my pants when I found out that there are only 10 semi-finalists and they will pick one more out of the crowd- so 11 total. Seems like pretty good odds!

The way it works is we are all invited to a Tri-City ValleyCats minor league baseball game on August 1. Every semi-finalist is going to get a gas card and a gift basket with a bunch of Central Market products in it- which is Price Chopper's awesome store brand. So essentially, my drive down will be paid for with the gas card I'll get there... And then they give you 4 tickets to the game (I can bring three guests) and also provide food and (non-alcoholic) beverages for while you're there. After the ninth inning, they'll randomly hand out keys to the 11 of us... And whoever has the key that starts the car, wins!

I am trying not to get my hopes up too high for this, and instead to just think of it as an all-expense paid day of fun. In the end, even if I don't win, I still got to see a new place in New York, my gas was paid for, I got a gift basket, got to watch a baseball game and was fed. So all in all, no matter what, it's a win-win for me. But man, could we ever use that car right now! Winning that would just be an amazing, over-the-top blessing. Our Jeep has been broken down since last year, so we always commute together and right now are relying on our one vehicle to be everything as far as transportation goes. It would be nice to have the peace of mind that if something happens with our car, we have another option! Plus it would also be really nice to know that if we need to be in two places at once, or if we both have something to do at the same time, we can! Fingers crossed.... squeee! :)

The moral of the story???

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, always keep your phone charged. All it takes is one missed call for you to regret something for life. lol.

Blog: Journal or Exhibition?

2009-07-14T08:51:00.004-04:00

Everyone on the net lately seems to be scarce, including myself. Could be the nicer weather, the ability to be outside longer, to grill, to run and play... To do things other than sit on the computer, essentially :) But for me, it's not just that... Lately I've been struggling with what I want this blog to be. What voice do I want to use? Where am I coming from? Who is reading me? Is this my journal, or is it a place for voyeurs to come and observe my life?

These are questions that have sort of stopped me in my tracks with the blog, and I hate that, because I love blogging. I hate not knowing where it's going, or what I want it to mean. Originally, when I started this blog, it was sort of as my own journal, but more than that, a record for Ilyana of her life, what we did, how much we loved her, and what she was like as a little girl.

Once I started with this, I loved it. I still do. I'm just dumbfounded as to... well, my mind is saying "What now?" because I started this blog with one intention, but then I realized there is this whole WORLD of people out there, blogging about their lives, about current events, about politics, about food, about money... There is this whole community that I have gotten involved in and begun to really enjoy. My presence on other people's sites has drawn them here, and for me... That's sort of blurred the line of my intent for this space.

I mean, if other people are coming here and reading it, is the blog now more about me than Ilyana? I started doing memes and things like that for a while, because I saw other people doing it, and I figured it was a way for me to involve myself more in this community... But soon realized that most of those don't really fit in with my vision of what the meaning of this space was for me and my family... And that most of the family members I have who read this probably don't care as much about the silly little mundane surveys and when I am "tagged" with awards, etc.

So then I began wondering if I should address this more directly to Illy, more like a journal or letters to her, more back to the roots of what I had envisioned. But I waffle back and forth on this too, feeling like if I do that, it shuts everyone else out- and since I love this community so much, I wouldn't want to do that. I appreciate it when other people visit us here, I appreciate when they are interested in our lives and want to know what we're doing, want to engage in conversation over things that are relevant to my life.

Basically what I'm saying is that I haven't been on here as much recently because I'm struggling with my own intent, my own voice for this little ol' blog. I'm sure a lot of people go through this. I'm trying to get a grasp on where I want to be with this, and what it needs to mean to me. In the end, years down the line, am I going to care about the comments I received from people I don't know? Or am I going to care more that I kept a good record of what our lives were?

I'm definitely leaning more towards the latter... For me, this is about us. I love that I have made friends through this space (and yes, even though I haven't met most of you, considering that we allow each other to play peeping tom into our lives, and give each other advice, and support each other when we need it- yes, I do consider you all my friends in these ways) but that is sort of just a bonus.

When I think about this blog as something that other people will visit- when I write posts with the intent of being witty, or trying to seem too PC so that I won't be bashed by random blog-hoppers- I stump myself. I get into this funk where the words just won't come out. My thoughts flow more freely when I am speaking directly to my daughter, or to my family, or reflecting on my experiences without worry of the outside world. So I think that's what I'm going to try to do. I'm sorry if it seems to my blog friends that this is more boring, or that it's putting up a wall between my life and the rest of the internet, or that it's detaching myself from the community as a whole a bit more- that's not the intent. I just wouldn't want to give this up, and I've found that if I don't do it the way I'm most comfortable, I won't do it at all. I'll just keep wavering about what to write, and why, and why it's relevant... And it will never be honest, it will never be exactly what I had intended.

I feel like now I'm getting repetitive, so I'm just going to end here with a couple of quotes that I think are relevant to this struggle...

*****

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ~E.E. Cummings

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." ~Raymond Hull

What She Says... The Sequel

2009-06-25T13:11:00.004-04:00

*****

Baby girl, you were sick last weekend with the flu.

I came into your room to check on you at around midnight when I was going to bed. All I needed to do was touch your skin to know that something wasn't right- you felt like a little furnace, just kicking heat off your body towards me in waves. I pulled you out of bed and brought you in to our room, so you could sleep next to me and I could keep an eye on you. Of course, this woke you up, and you became a little chatterbox- "Mama, it's dark in here."

Me: "Yes honey, it is dark. That's because it's late and it's night-night time. Let's go to sleep now."

You: "Where's Dada?"

Me: "Right there next to you..."

You: "Is Dada sleeping?"

Me: "He's trying to, babe... Now shhh... Gotta be quiet now. It's bedtime."

*car drives by outside* You: "What was that noise?"

Me: "It was a car honey. Now, shh... Or you'll have to go sleep in your bed."

You: "I wanna sleep in my bed."

Me: "You do?"

You: "No, I wanna sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed."

Me: "Okay, ni-night, now."

*a minute later*

You: "I wanna sleep in my bed."

Me: "Okay, honey, let's go."

I picked you up, and as we were walking back to your room, you started spewing. Everywhere. On the floor, on me, in my hair, on your clothes... Then you wiped your face, and got it in YOUR hair and all over your face.

When you get sick, you like to think that if you could just go back to whatever the situation was BEFORE you threw up- in this case, laying in bed- that you won't be sick anymore. So when you threw up on me at what was by then around 1 AM, you looked at me with your shaky, burning up body and your pitiful little puke face and said "I wanna go to sleep, Momma."

Me: "I know honey, but we need to take a shower and get these yuckies off us."

You: "NO! I wanna go to sleep!"

It breaks my heart when you feel bad like this, and I know all I can do is try to make you as comfortable as possible and then wait things out. Needless to say, I did get you in the shower and cleaned us both up. Your dad, who had been charged with cleaning the floor-splashed puke, was waiting to hug you when you came out:

Dada: "Oh, honey... You feel yucky, huh?"

You: *giving him the hairy eyeball* "Dada, I not yucky... I sick!"

Side note unrelated to what you said about the experience: The one thing you like about being sick? Eating popsicles for breakfast. :)

*****

This is one of your latest tactics in trying to get what you want:

You: "Mama, I want to go outside."

Me: "No honey, not right now... Momma is making dinner, and we are going to eat soon."

You: "Mama, I want to go OUTSIDE."

Me: "No, honey, not right now."

You: "Don't say no, Mama. Don't say no. I want to go outside."

Me: "I'm sorry honey, but the answer is no right now."

You: Stomping and screeching at the top of your lungs- "DON'T SAY NO!! DON'T SAY NOOOOO!"

... I have to wonder if you somehow telepathically read my recent "Yes" post. :)

*****

Out of the blue- You: "Dada... We don't eat dog poop. We don't eat dog poop."

*****

There is a new baby at your daycare who is only 3 months old. Carol, your sitter, had set him down in his seat to go do something, and told all the kids to leave him alone. Well, a couple of the other kids went over and were bugging him, so she went to correct them and raised her voice.

You looked at her straight in the eye and said: "Carol! Don't talk so loud!"

*****

Rose-Colored Glasses

2009-06-23T14:25:00.003-04:00

Some people think that seeing the world through rose-colored glasses is naive, futile, ridiculous... That it's only ignoring an inevitable downfall and falsely wishing that nothing bad will ever happen.

Me? I think that focusing on the positive allows you to take life in stride- with a grain of salt- and just keep on moving. I've always been able to see that light on the horizon, even when things got sticky. I've always believed that things will continue to improve, as long as we continue make the choices that we think are right for ourselves.

On the rare hard days, loving my life is a conscious choice... A step back, assess the situation, breathe and believe. Start again. Trust.

But more often than not, it just comes naturally. How could I not love something that provided me with this- the most beautiful, rose-colored-glasses-wearing, spunky, smart princess? How could I not enjoy my time here, with the people I love, as much as humanly possible? How could I not focus on the good?

No matter what life throws at me right now, I have her. And that is enough. And that makes me happy.

Bitchiness and the "Yes"

2009-06-18T15:07:00.003-04:00

I'm just going to out and say it.

I'm not gonna lie, I've been bitchy this past week.

I know I have. I've noticed it myself- had to hang my head in shame and tell hubby I was sorry for being mean to him for absolutely no reason. Had to check myself when I was mad at the bitty girl for whining too much, for asking for the same thing one too many times.

Normally these things don't get to me like this. Normally, it's easy to deal with, let it roll off my back, ignore the repeated question girlie asks that I've already answered twenty times, not snip when I have to pick up hubs' clothes from the floor directly NEXT to the hamper... Normally, these things are normal occurrences, and I am aware of this, and let it go. Normally.

Here is what I have learned: Too much rain + PMS + A boatload of chores to do = Me being in a funk, out of my element, foggy-headed, crampy, overwhelmed by things that are usually easy to accomplish, and sometimes downright mean. I try my best not to be like this. I hate when I am like this. When I notice myself acting like this, I don't want to be around me... So I can only imagine how my family feels!

It makes me feel guilty thinking that my daughter might someday remember me being this ONE. You know... The one who snips, who scowls. I know everyone can be like this sometimes... But it makes me feel sick when I catch myself doing it. I love them so much, why would I be mean, treat them badly simply because I am in a bad mood?

I just have to hope that all the good memories Ilyana has with me will outweigh these crabby-ass days when she looks back someday. I hope they do. I'm pretty sure they do, but then, I guess we never really know how other people see us- and how they perceive that we treat them- because we're not on the receiving end there. So all I can do is hope. And try to change my behavior...

I stumbled across a post today over at We Are THAT Family called, simply, "Yes". It sort of reminded me of that movie that just came out recently, "Yes Man"... She was talking about how her friend gave herself a personal challenge this summer to say "Yes" as much as she could, and how Kristin (the great blogger at We Are THAT Family) took the challenge on, too. I think I might have to hop on that bandwagon and try to say "yes" more.... Or at the very least, take notice of how much I am saying "Yes" vs. "No".

I mentioned in the comments there that I feel like sometimes I say no simply because I always have that to-do list running through my head, and more times than not, saying "Yes" just adds one more thing to the bottom... So it's a selfish motivation to say no, to avoid the cleanup, the mess, the "bother" of yes. What I don't take into account when I am saying no is that I'm also avoiding the fun, the learning, the enjoyment, the EXPERIENCE that could have been had I just sucked it up, given in, said yes, reveled in the moment- and yes, even later, picked it up.

I'm not great at saying yes, especially when it deviates from what I had planned, organized, thought out in my head to do already... Especially when I am crabby, especially when I am in a funk-a-dunk-dunk. But I am going to try more. I am going to take a deep breath, think things through, and try to say "Yes". Why not? What can it hurt?

I am going to try and consider how my words and actions will affect the people I love, the people around me, BEFORE I say or do them. I am going to put my daughter back in the first- most important- spot... from which she never really left, but I have been overlooking it this week in my crankiness and effort to just get things done so I could chill and wallow in my own shit.

I'm not even sure how cohesive this post is- it's sort of just an amalgam of all that was running through my mind today- frustration with myself, introspective reflection upon reading the "Yes" post, guilt that I have let this shadow creep on me and affect my peeps- especially my one, very little, very special peep. Because she never deserves that. And I want to be the "Yes" Mom, the fun one, the one who picks the right battles to fight (only the ones that truly matter), the one who makes you happy and takes away your hurts and doesn't growl or scowl or snip out of frustration when you are just being a kid. I looked at myself today for a moment and I did not like what I saw.

To this, I say- "Out, out, damned PMS!! Out, out, bad weather!!" I want my normal self back, and I'm willing to bet my hubby and daughter do, too.

Wordless Wednesdays #26- A Tomato A Day... ??

2009-06-17T16:02:00.002-04:00

You can see other people's entries, or join in the fun, at THIS site!

Rainy Days...

2009-06-09T11:44:00.004-04:00

Good Morning, my Ruggle!

Today is just one of those days. One of those gray, rainy, gloomy, drab, boring days. When I woke up this morning I first noticed that the sun was not glaring into my eyes as per usual- then I heard that telltale pitter patter outside. I love that sound, absolutely love it. Especially when I go to bed- it's nature's lullaby :)

However, a lullaby is not exactly what you're looking for when you're trying to drrrraaaagggg yourself out of bed. We ended up hitting the snooze button and getting up later than usual. I felt foggy and half awake all morning... When you woke up, you didn't want to go to daycare, either. You just kept telling me "No, Momma, I wanna stay home." I wish we could have! These types of days are perfect for lounging around, snuggling, and reading books.

Since we were running behind I didn't pack my lunch (I'll buy today) and we forgot your chocolate milk at home! You were heartbroken. I always feel bad when I leave your drink behind... I imagine what I would feel like if someone else was in charge of my beverage and forgot. I mean, we remembered our own coffees (of course)! We apologized, but you didn't say it was okay. Instead you just glared at us. I don't blame you.

I can't wait to come and pick you up- to see your face light up as your run over to give me and Dada a big hug and say "Momma! Dada! You're HERE!" :) Picking you up is always one of my favorite parts of the day... That hug is the best. I always miss you, and it makes me glow that you get so excited when we come to get you.

Days like this always pass so slowly, don't they, ruggle? But they also make me feel calm, for some reason. I guess it's that same old fact- the beautiful, good days just wouldn't be the same if we didn't have the yucky, ucky wet ones to balance it out. Days like today make me think of the things I'm grateful for...

You had a couple of head bonk incidents this weekend that both landed in the same place... so you ended up pretty swollen, and I was worried. I went in late to work yesterday so that I could call the doctor, and take you in to see her if necessary. Luckily they just asked some questions and then told me you sounded like you were fine, and I could give you tylenol and ice it and then see where you were at. Just the thought of you being hurt badly scares me so much, I don't know what I would do if it ever came down to a serious injury... I guess I just hope your Daddy would be around to be level-headed, because I get so flustered and worried! So yesterday, after speaking with the nurse, I looked at you with your swollen face and your big smile, and my heart just swelled with happiness... I said to you, "I love you so much, girl"... And you looked at me, and you know what you said?

You said "Thank you."

So I asked, "For what, honey?"

"Thank you for loving me, Momma."

No, little girl... Thank YOU for loving me. It's the greatest gift I've ever been given. I'm so grateful.

Holy Schnikes Batman! Featuriffic!

2009-06-05T09:05:00.006-04:00

I opened my email this morning and a message from NewParent.com caught my eye.

NewParent is a wonderful website I stumbled on a while back. It's for parents or parents-to-be of babies and toddlers. They have some great expert advice, parenting blogs, giveaways, coupons, recipes, and a wonderful community of other parents you can communicate with. There is also a baby of the week section where people can enter their children to be the star of the week : )

I was curious to see what they had to say, so I clicked and started reading:

"Hey Jaden,

How are you? Just wanted to let you know that your blog is listed on
NewParent.com under: “Around the Web" here is the link in case you want to
enjoy your fame and show off to your readers : )"

For real? For really real? I'm featured?!

HELLO, of COURSE I want to show off! Yippppeeeee! :D This is me doing the: I got featured! dance:

Well... That is, if I was an adorable, skinny asian lady.

Now then, without further adieu, HERE is the link to the page with this lil' ol' blog's name on it!

And in case you missed it the first time- HERE it is again. ;)

Who me? Nah, I'm not excited. What makes you think that? *grin*

So THANK YOU to NewParent for the ego boost on this lovely Friday morning.

Oh, and if you do click over- you should check out some of the other featured blogs. There are some really great ones on there.

Happy FEATURED Friday! hee.

ETA: Apparently, my little lady gif does not want to dance. But I'm keeping her up anyway as a visual aid. :)

Life Goes On...

2009-06-04T15:47:00.003-04:00

I haven't had a lot to say here in the past week or so. I don't know what's been up, I guess I've just been in a bit of a writing funk... But I did want to post a quick note to you, Bendy Ruggle, about some of the things we've been up to lately.

*****

Your Dad's old friend Duncan is visiting NH from Hawaii right now, so last weekend we went down and picked him up to hang out for a while. He was amazed at how smart you are! You warmed right up to him and let him push you on the swing :) We hope to eventually be able to visit him in beautiful paradise- it would be the first time we ever got to see it in person, and I know you would just love the big flowers, beautiful weather, and fresh fruit!

*****

We also planted some herbs in our pots on the porch last weekend- you are such a good helper! You wore the gardening gloves, put the dirt in the pots with me, and also helped me spread the seeds. The bulbs we planted about two weeks ago are starting to sprout through the ground, and you love counting them with me when we go home and helping to water them. I admit, I'm pretty excited, too! I usually have a black thumb that kills everything, but my plants this year are doing surprisingly well. I think it might be because I have a little helper with the magic touch ;)

*****

The past few days you have started telling us knock-knock jokes, which is pretty hilarious. The funny thing about it is that you don't really *get* that jokes have punchlines. I think that some of the kids at daycare must have been telling these jokes and you picked up the beginning of the jokes from them. So you would start by saying "Knock knock" but then when one of us would answer "Who's there?" you would just seem puzzled and say "Knock Knock" again! I tried telling you a couple of the old ones I remember (banana, banana, banana, banana, ORANGE you glad I didn't say banana? AND boo, boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke!) and of course you didn't get them, but at least now you TRY with the punchlines. Your latest joke goes something like this:

Bend: Knock Knock!
Mama: Who's There?
Bend: Ilyana is orange banana! *giggles maniacally*
Mama: *giggling too* Ilyana the orange banana who?
Bend: Knock Knock!

*****

Today is your Mommy and Daddy's NINE YEAR anniversary. Nine years that we've been together... Nine years since the day your Uncle Mitchie snuck up the stairs to my room and said sheepishly "Mom wants to know if you guys are going out yet." Nine years since your Daddy looked at me and said "Well, do you want to?" and totally caught me off guard. Nine years since I said yes. Nine years we've been loving each other, struggling through the tough times and sticking it out, nine years we've been leaning on each other, and sometimes fighting with each other but always knowing in the end what matters. Nine years, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Our dreams have started to come true the past few years, with you finally arriving and making this a family.

Nine years, and life goes on... Even when sometimes your Momma can't think of anything great to say about it.

Friday Fill-Ins #21

2009-05-29T15:57:00.002-04:00

1. It's cold and wet outside!

2. There is nothing quite like some fresh garden tomatoes.

3. My favorite health and beauty product is the AVON Clearskin line right now! It's done wonders for my uhh... let's just say *blemish-prone* skin. ;)

4. I wouldn't really enjoy a nice long ride. Hey, at least I'm being honest! The car is NOT my favorite place to be...

5. Well, first of all get your facts straight! Do your own research, don't just follow everyone else like a sheep... BAHH :)

6. Hubby, me and an ex of mine; those were the cast of characters in a recent dream and it was naughty, I'm not gonna lie! That's all the info you will get out of me...

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to chilling with my fam and hopefully squeezing in some workout time, tomorrow my plans include relaxing at home with nothing to do for the first time in weeks! and Sunday, I want to grocery shop, do the chores, and prep for the week. Also hopefully get outside for a bit with the ruggle, all this rain has been killing us!

You can join in on the fun, or see other people's entries, by visiting THIS site.

Wordless Wednesdays #25- "Helping" with Dinner

2009-05-27T08:45:00.003-04:00

You can join in on the fun or see other people's wonderful WW entries at THIS LINK.

Bouncing.

2009-05-26T14:07:00.004-04:00

I have always liked trampolines.

I know they can be unsafe, I know they can be scary. I've heard the horror stories.

But to me, as a kid? The idea of feeling weightless- like you're flying- was intoxicating. The idea you could just jump and play and maybe be bigger for a moment than all that's around you was enormous. Freeing.

Yesterday, I sat with my legs stretched straight out, you snuggled down in between my knees.

I leaned back and lifted my butt up, tossed my body as high as I could from a sitting position. You laughed before we even came back down that first time. I bounced with you. I bounced, remembering how fun it was for me when I was so young, had thought these types of things impossible.

As we bounced higher, you giggled, and your giggle made me giggle, and we giggled some more- together.

And then we bounced higher, and you got a little scared. You had that nervous laughter, that ha-ha, don't drop me, I'm afraid, ha-ha- laugh. You grabbed on tight to my jeans. You clung to me, and I wrapped my arms around you like I do with the towel after your bath- my little baby burrito. Or baby Dorito- as you call yourself.

But you felt me lean around you, you knew I was there. You glanced up at me, and you told me "I wanna bounce again!" And I smiled. I smiled because I knew that you felt safe in my arms, and you knew I wouldn't let you get hurt. You know how much I care about you, and it just about melts my heart. You didn't want to stand up on your own, even holding my hands, to bounce. No, you wanted me right there, you wanted sitting on my lap, you wanted safety and comfort AND fun at once.

You can grab onto me whenever you feel afraid, little girl. Momma will always be here, will always be ready to steady you, to give you a break from the crazy bouncy rhythm of life when it gets to be too much. You can tell me you're afraid, and I'll always do my best to help. My little cling-buggy, I love you so much.

Friday Fill-Ins #20

2009-05-22T15:56:00.005-04:00

1. Moving is a big time pain in the butt, but worth it!

2. I have been getting tons of stuff for free. (By using these two blogs- Hip2Save and Money Saving Mom- as my guide, in conjunction with printable internet coupons from coupons.com and sites like it!)

3. My best quality is my ability to be optimistic and look beyond the struggles.

4. Sometimes, you don't want the details.

5. In nearly 10 years, I hope to own a home, have more children, have moved up in my career, and my daughter will be in middle school. YIKES!

6. A pampering spa day is what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going out to eat with my family, tomorrow my plans include bringing the Bend to Nashua to return my parent's stools (which we WILL finish tonight, I promise!) and Sunday, I want to relax, clean up, do some cooking/ baking and hang around the house! Monday? BBQ with my in-laws at their house! :)

You can view other people's entries, or join in the fun yourself, at THIS LINK.

Wordless Wednesdays #24- Funny Faces

2009-05-20T13:47:00.003-04:00

You can find other people's entries, or join in the fun yourself, at THIS LINK.

"I BE TWOS"!!

2009-05-13T14:56:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday to my beautiful little girl!

You bring such light and happiness to my life, I couldn't begin to thank you enough. Your giggles tickle my soul.

You are the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me- my angel, my peanut, my ruggle, my bend. My little beansprout.

This year, we threw you two parties, so it wouldn't be as crowded as it was last year. We invited our Dads and their families on Saturday (which was your actual birthday), and our Moms and their families on Sunday, which also happened to fall on Mother's Day this year. It was great to be able to see both of our Moms on this day, for TWO most party-worthy occasions. :)

Bumpa and Nana couldn't make it on Saturday, so we started out the weekend with a visit from Pep, Grammy ("Gammy" to you right now), Nana, Uncle Dru and Uncle Jack. We spent a big part of the day outside, enjoying the nice weather and our newly green front lawn :)

You and Uncie Jack, feeling the grass on your piggies

Feels so soft, right ruggle?

Gammy gets a big ol' smooch

But then you left her in the dust to go and pick flowers for Momma.

Thanks, Bend! They are SO PRETTY! I love you!

Flowers for Nana and Gammy, too.

Peppie and Nana sitting on the porch. I just love this shot. It speaks of happiness and motherhood, which is apt, considering the holiday that was right around the corner.

You had fun opening your presents!

You can actually rip them open on your own now. I love that! But it can only mean one thing... You are getting to be a big girl now. And that stings, just a little.

**You didn't have the stamina to open them all right then, though... You waited to open most of your first batch of presents from Mommy and Daddy (I had wrapped half for the first day, half for the next) until later that night, after Cey-Cey came. You stripped down naked and ripped them open like a banshee!**

We all ate our cupcakes:

But you looked the prettiest doing it.

Then you had some more fun playing with your Uncles:

And letting them help you set up your new car track! Who says girls don't like cars?

We said our goodbyes:

You hugging it up with Pep!

And started preparing for the next day's festivities. Cey-cey came up that night to help us get ready and have some special time with you before everyone else got there.

Side note: Not only do you like to play with cars and car tracks, but you like to do it totally, BUTT NEKKID! (This is right before you decided it was time to finish opening those presents of yours!)

Better watch out for you, girl... Boys will be lining up for the girl who plays with cars naked someday, I just know it ;oP

However, you do play with it in your clothes, too. *phew*

It seems like it's one of your favorite presents, actually.

The next day, we set everything up and waited for our guests to arrive. You were VERY excited and kept saying "Is it my BIRTHDAY?! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to ILYANNNNAAA!"

When you came down the stairs and saw the new pile of presents, you exclaimed "MORE PRESENTS!"

When everyone got there, we hung out for a while:

Cousin Kaden and Auntie Brigitte playing the Wii- you running through the frame :)

Uncle Mitchie, Cey-Cey, and the Grumps!

We played outside for a while, and you got to ride your new QUAD! Nana and Papa brought it with them- Kaden passed it on to you because he wanted you to be able to have as much fun with it as he did!! You got out to a strong start tooting around on it, and quickly picked up on the need to steer:

I couldn't believe my big girl riding a Power-Wheel type trike, all by herself! *sniffle*

You and "Gumps" playing in the front yard.

Some of the gang hanging out- L to R: Papa, Nana, Dada, Cey-Cey and Uncle Mitchie

We were having such a good time chatting, I even caught your Daddy SMILING! With the CAMERA! Shocker, I know. He never wants his picture taken, so he always makes funny faces. Not this time, Dada! This time we GOT YOU! :)

Nana doesn't like the camera, either... (Wonder if that's where Dada got it from?) I had to be sneaky getting this one- I thought for sure I had caught her smiling too, but right as I snapped the shot, she moved her hand to her mouth. Nuts!

Uncle Mitchie, squinting in the sun. He was watching you truck around on that quad. :)

Cey-cey and her amazing shade-changing glasses :) I think this is a good unposed picture of her.

Then we decided it was time to open presents:

Those PJ's on the right have already become your new favorite pair, even though you've only had them a couple of days. They have long cuffs that can be footies or not. You call them your "Sunglebunnies" :)

Nana was helping me by picking up the wrapping paper and helping you open your toys. She's nice, huh?

You got some more cars, too. I thought they would work with your new track, but they don't, which was a cause of much frustration last night.

Kaden sat patiently next to us and watched you open your presents. He also helped explain what things were to you, and he helped me pick up your clothes when you decided they weren't interesting enough and you wanted to throw them all around the room instead of looking at them.

He also showed you the awesome princess card he picked out just for you- it played the song "A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes" when you opened it up!

You didn't quite understand how to work your new REAL camera quite yet here, but you figured it out pretty fast, and you love it!

You were pretty good about opening your presents! I was so proud of you, watching my big girl open everything on her own and not get burned out. You were pretty well-behaved, too... Except for that one snafu when you opened your Dora book- the one about sharing. As soon as I told you what it was, Kaden went to look at it (not take it away, mind you!) and you screamed "MINE!" But since it was kind of ironic and cute, we all laughed it off. Kaden was a good sport about it, too... And a minute later you decided you would share with him anyway, so all was well. :)

We all sang you Happy Birthday:

And you blew out your candles... Well, you tried. I had to help in the end. :)

Then you gobbled down more cupcakes!

Well... we all ate cupcakes. And some other snacks. Here's what the table looked like toward the end of the day:

And then we hung out, and chatted some more, and said our good byes. It really was a wonderful, fun birthday weekend. I had a blast, and I hope you did, too. I just can't get over that it's actually been that long since you were born... Where did the time go, and when did you get to be this adorable, smart little kid?

Happy, happy, HAPPY birthday, my princess. I love you with every inch of myself.

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesdays #23- Rain Dance

2009-05-13T00:01:00.002-04:00

Rain, Rain...

Go Away...

Come again another day...

Ilyana wants to play...

Rain, rain, go away.

You can see other participants' entries in Wordless Wednesday or join in yourself at THIS LINK.

And since I didn't totally follow the rules this time (I put the words to the song), here also is the link to the MOSTLY Wordless Wednesday headquarters. I followed her rules! ;)

Dear Mom:

2009-05-08T12:33:00.003-04:00

Mother's Day is this weekend, and I wanted to send you a note.

I don't want to get too emotional, too sappy. This is a weekend for happiness, celebrating our Momness, enjoying each other's company (I'm excited to hang out again this weekend!)... and who could forget Bendy Ruggles' birthday?!

BUT, I figured I owed it to you to clear the air on something. I hope you don't mind me saying it in an open forum like this... But who am I really kidding? It's not like I have a huge fanbase, a dedicated readership. Most of the people who stop by here are people who know us, who love us, who already have the back story on this.

I just want you to know that you shouldn't feel guilty.

Now I know me just saying that isn't going to help a whole lot, so let me explain a bit more in depth.

We both know you struggled with your own demons when I was growing up. In and out of the hospital, I know you always felt awful about not being there for us every single day. Not only could I hear it in your voice when we spoke on the phone back then, understand it from your words when you told me how much you missed me... but you've also vocalized it to me as an adult, when we've had our deep heart-to-hearts.

I know you feel like you failed us in some way by taking care of yourself when you needed it. I know you felt like you needed to be there for homework help and carpools and sleepovers. I know it nags at you, even today, years later, when we've come so far, become so close. Not many people can say that they consider their Mom a best friend, someone they can tell anything to... But I can, and I am more than grateful for this. I only hope that someday Ilyana will look to me for advice, will feel like she can open up to me like I always knew I could with you.

But there are a couple of things that I learned when you were going through this battle that have helped me through my own struggles as an adult- through the toughest of times that I've had, and I want you know what they are.

I want you to know that you taught me these things, whether or not you intended to.

The first of them is this:

No matter how much you struggle... No matter how hard things get... No matter how MANY obstacles you face, there is always room to laugh. To be silly. To make up songs and ridiculous nicknames... To seize the day, have fun and ignore those heartaches. To skip school. To FORGET about those responsibilities, those scary moments, those fights against whatever it may be, and just live. Just enjoy it. For a moment.

But the most important thing you taught me, when you were far away, fighting for your life on your own and we were missing each other terribly? It's this:

LIFE is worth fighting for.

Giving up is not an option.

And this. This one thing? It's what I've hung on to. What I've told countless numbers of my friends when they call me, upset about whatever it is that they're struggling with.

It's what I've known in the deepest part of my OWN heart when I was scared and struggling, not knowing how we would make it bringing a little girl into this world with nothing to our names. It's what I believe has kept me from ever getting depressed- my own belief, the true knowledge that life is good, and worth every struggle. It's why I have always stayed positive, always looked on the bright side (hey, they even gave me an award with that title in 8th grade- "person who always looks on the bright side"- and that was way back when you were still away) and always faced what I needed to head-on. It's my truth. My biggest secret for staying happy, the closest I can come to knowing the meaning of life. It's just to live it. To enjoy it. To fight for it with all you have, every inch of your soul. It's worth it. It all is in the end.

I cherish our time together, and I want you to know that you can let go of that guilt now. I want you to know that I was never angry or upset. In fact, I was and still am grateful that you took care of yourself... Because I could never have had such a fulfilling life if you hadn't been around.

Who would I have shared so many moments with- graduations, birthdays, being out in the mobs black friday shopping (which, I hope you know, is now a tradition), vacations, the birth of my beautiful daughter, and, of course, the fuckin' chicken... They just wouldn't have been the same if you had made another choice way back when, if you had somehow decided that being there for those sleepovers, carpools, homework, tests, and games that you would miss was more important than the future. More important than fighting for yourself, for your life. Scratch that- for OUR life.

I love you so deeply. Thank you for teaching me how to hang on.

xo,

Jade

Poop and Singing

2009-05-07T13:37:00.006-04:00

I have been awful with the photos lately. I take some, then I forget to post them. And I never get ones of the things that are REALLY memorable, like last night...

* * * *

I'm pretty sure fate did not want me talking to my Mom last night. Who knows why, but she called me on my cell phone first... I was busy, so I figured I'd call her back. Then my house phone rings. I think, "Oh, it might be important, I better pick up." So I grab the nearest phone, pick it up... and start hearing that ominous beeping that can only mean my phone will die as soon as we start getting into the juicy bits of whatever story we're telling.

Quickly, I say- "Hey, my phone is dying, I'll call you back in a little bit!"

Mom: "Bye!"

So I put the phone on the charger and hang around for a bit until Bendy's tubtime. I take her up with me, start running her tub, and go grab the other handset to call my Mom back.

As soon as she picks up, beeping ensues. "Dammit, I just grabbed a new phone thinking this one MUST be charged, but now this phone is beeping too!"

Mom: "Huh?"

Me: "My phone is dying! I'll-" the phone hangs up. HMPH!

So, I go run and grab my cell phone from downstairs and bring it up, determined we'll finish this conversation sooner or later. I put Bendy in the tub and give her some of her toys to splash around and have fun with. Call my Mom back.

"Hey, sorry, that phone died too. I don't know what the heck is up. None of my phones will stay charged! Anyway, what's up?"

"Driving home from work. I have an event tonight and an event tomorrow night too! It's the nomination party for Andover's Hottest Bachelorette!"

"Oh that sounds fun! Illy... what are you doing? Wait, hang on a second Mom... What IS that? That's not a tub toy... Illy, did you poop?!"

Ilyana: "Nooo..."

Me: *takes a closer look* "Yes you did! Oh my GOD, I gotta go. Ilyana pooped in the tub."

Mom: Laughing hysterically- "She DID?! Okay, talk to you later!" *giggles*

I think she did this like, once before. When she was really little.

Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled with having to drain the tub, scoop out the poop nuggets (there were like 5 of them!), lift the tub mat, clean everything down, rinse it out, and re-fill the tub to finish a bathtime that had barely started... but you don't really get other options with things like this!

I actually sort of felt bad for her, because I think she must have been constipated (it seemed like it for a couple of days before this) and the warm water helped her get it out. But still. Cleaning soggy poops out of a bath and off of toys and bath mats is not my idea of fun. By the time I finally got to talk to my Mom again after all this, I forgot entirely what the conversation had been about. Isn't that just the way?

* * * *

So, after tub time was over, we go back downstairs to have our dinner, watch some TV and relax. I'm laying on the couch a bit later, and Illy goes:

"Momma, what you doing?"

"I'm laying down, honey."

"I wann' lay down TOO!"

"Okay, come on up and snuggle with me for a bit."

So she comes over, hoists herself up onto the couch, and sits on my lap. She looks me RIGHT in the eye, and starts singing to me out of the blue:

"KINKLE, Kinkle, iddle STAR
How I wonder utchoo ARE!
Up above a wetchoo HIGH
Like a diamond in the SKY
Kinkle, kinkle IDDLE star
How I wonder UTCHOO ARE!"

Through the whole entire song, she stared straight at me. Then I melted.

I tell you, having the most beautiful, loving, smartest, most rhythmic and musical little girl in the world? TOTALLY makes up for having to clean soggy poop.

Just saying.

Random Tuesday Thoughts Numero Tres

2009-05-05T14:17:00.002-04:00

You can participate in Random Tuesday Thoughts by visiting Keely at The Un-Mom and signing her Mr. Linky. Or not, since today it's broken. You should just leave your link in the comments, like she told you to. Don't you read directions?!?

You should also visit Kia at Good Enough Mama and say hi, since she's the one who turned me on to this meme. Or you could just stop by and fling some poo, since she's going on vacation this week and we're not. And that is shiteous. It makes me a little green with envy, to be sure.

BUT- she's going to Florida and not to Disney. So that makes me a little less jealous. I can forgive her for her vacation as long as she's not going to that most magical place on earth that I have been feening to go for months, where everything goes right and you smile all day and everyone tells you to "have a magical DAY!" and goes out of their way to make you happy.

Now then. On to more randomness.

*Over the past few days, Ilyana has taken to saying "Oh MY GOOODDDDNESSS!" at the most random of times. I am pretty sure she heard me say this at some point and it stuck in her brain. It's the cutest thing when she says it, though. I am just thanking my lucky stars that she didn't pick up one of my less-PC phrases. I'd probably shrivel up and die if we were out shopping and she said "Dada is a dinknose." OR "HAHA, MOMMA TOOTED!"

...Yes, I've said both of those things. And?

*I am becoming coupon-cutting crazy. I can't stop. But please, no interventions. I figure any addiction that actually allows me to shop AND saves my family money is a blessing in disguise. Last weekend I stocked up on cereal, and I still have more to buy. We had to convert our extra hutch into a pantry to hold all the reserve food I was able to snag! Boo-YAH!

I have even gotten things for FREE! It's crazy. There are two blogs in particular that I follow to find the BEST deals and internet printable coupons- they are

Hip2Save
and
Money Saving Mom

But if you do decide to check them out, don't say I didn't warn you. You will most likely end up at the sites multiple times per day. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I even found a deal from Hip2Save that got me a pair of $65 LEATHER flip flops for this summer from Deckers and only paid $12 with FREE SHIPPING! They came yesterday and they rock. Oh, and they have a lifetime warranty, so if they ever break, they'll be replaced. Yeah, I could go on about the deals. They are great. Just check the sites. You won't be sorry.

*I am seriously looking forward to Memorial Day weekend. I think we are just going to hang around the house and plant things and clean and catch up on rest, but a relaxing LONG weekend at home sounds fantabulous right about now. I think it's been MONTHS since I had more than two days at home in a row.

*It's Ilyana's birthday party (well, actually, parties) this weekend. I am so not as organized about it as last year, but I'm thinking that's okay. I'm not doing a meal this year, like I did last year, I'm just going to have snacks and cake and ice cream and balloons and all that regular birthday jazz. She's really excited about it, though :)

*I got to finish my shopping for her party last weekend. It was amazing. A beautiful day out, and I got to borrow my Mom's convertible to drive around in, since my brother was supposed to take a look at my brakes for me... Driving around all day, top down, shopping, BY MYSELF?! Nirvana.

*I just love my family. They are wonderful.

Friday Fill-Ins #19

2009-05-01T12:58:00.003-04:00

And...here we go!

1. The first rule of working in an office and getting along is stay out of the drama!

2. I don't eat clams.

3. When I think of carnivals I think of ferris wheels, caramel apples, and overpriced tickets.

4. Lilacs are my favorite spring flower. (and my favorite flower in general!)

5. Things on my desk include my water bottle, post-its, date stamp, telephone, picture of my hubby and daughter, tissues, coupons, my lunch... etc...

6. Hearing about the shiteous way my husband's work treats him makes me wanna punch his boss in the nose, kick him in the groin, and laugh.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing, tomorrow my plans include going to Nashua to celebrate my Stepdad's birthday and finish shopping for Bendy's birthday and Sunday, I want to hang around the house (and clean it, since I seem to be avoiding that quite well the past few weekends), play with the Bend, and take some pics!

You can participate in Friday Fill-Ins by going to this link.

Wordless Wednesdays #22- A Morning Visit

2009-04-29T09:45:00.004-04:00

You can see other people's entries- or join in yourself- at THIS LINK.

Couples Meme

2009-04-23T14:58:00.004-04:00

I stole this from Issa over at Issascrazyworld, who stole it from Mothergoosemouse, who stole it from someone else, who... Yeah, things get stolen a lot around this 'sphere. But it's always with permission! :)

THE COUPLES MEME:

What are your middle names?

Mine is Paige, and his is... Irving. He would hate that I told you that, but I think it's sweet, since it's after his grandfather.

How long have you been together?

Since June 4, 2000. Got married last January, but I don't count that as our anniversary...

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

Erm, not that long. We had met previously, but he wasn't interested. I think it was like a month later that we actually started "going out".

Who asked whom out?

He asked me. Actually, it was brought on by my little brother... Who kept coming upstairs and bugging us when we were hanging out in my room. He finally came up and said "Mom wants to know if you guys are going out yet." I was MORTIFIED! But Will looked at me and said, "Well? Do you want to?" (I know, he's articulate. heh.) And the rest is history.

How old are each of you?

He's 28, I'm 25.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

Depends on the month really... We see his brother a bit, because he only lives about 20 mins away, and we get along well with him and his wife... Plus his son is two days younger than Ilyana. But we also see my brother Mitch a lot :)

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

I would probably say financial stuff is the most consistently hard on us. Doesn't everyone fight about that crap? Especially lately?

Did you go to the same school?

Nope, not even in the same state!

Are you from the same home town?

No. I was born in Dover, NH. He was born in Nashua, NH.

Who is smarter?

I'd say we are equals... We are each smart about different things, and we keep each other balanced. :)

Who is the most sensitive?

hahaha ok... Well I am the most sensitive about things going on in our life, I think... But he gets teary-eyed over a LOT more than I do on TV and stuff... I think it's because he has to be all manly-man in his life, so that sappy emotional TV is how he lets it all out. lol.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?

hahaha, what's THAT? Eating out as a COUPLE? lol. For real though, I don't know if it is the place we go the most, since it's not close by, but Silo's in Merrimack, NH is our FAVORITE place to eat.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Disney World in Florida.

Who has the craziest exes?

I don't think either of us has *crazy* exes. We have a couple of exes who have done crazy things... but since we've been together since I was 16, there aren't too many exes.

Who has the worst temper?

He does. I nag more, and yell more probably. But he is the one who gets more pissed when it comes down to it.

Who does the cooking?

Me.

Who is the neat-freak?

I care more about neatness than he does, for sure.

Who is more stubborn?

Hmm... I am, I think. I have the hardest time admitting I'm wrong. In fact, sometimes I'll just sit and stew because I KNOW I'm wrong, but I can't bring myself to say it. What can I say, I can be pigheaded...

Who hogs the bed?

Neither of us hogs the bed, we pretty much stay on our sides... but he TOTALLY hogs the blankets! I always have to wake up and YANK my portion back over to my side.

Who wakes up earlier?

We usually wake up at the same time. We commute together.

Where was your first date?

We went to see "Road Trip" at the Strand in Dover with my brother and best friend Merry. Our first "date" alone was at my house, we watched "10 Things I Hate About You".

Who is more jealous?

Me.

How long did it take to get serious?

It just kind of happened, I don't know when... He claims in the beginning he didn't think it would last, but he had moved in with my family after a couple months of us being together...

Who eats more?

I don't know... I think about the same? He eats more than I do at night, but he never eats his lunch, and I eat mine. :)

Who does the laundry?

Me. If I waited for him to do it, I'd walk around nekkid.-- I second that, Issa. And though he probably would want me to always walk around nekkid, that's not something I'm planning on doing. heh.

Who’s better with the computer?

He is. He knows all kinds of code and programming and more photoshop than I do, and web design. He wants to work with computers... And I just want to play on them.

Who drives when you are together?

I do. All the time. He just sits in the passenger side and tells me what I'm doing wrong. lol.

ETA: Of course, any one of you who would like to grab this meme and play along is welcome to! I would love to read about you and your hubbies- or wives, for those guys out there! Let me know if you do and I'll be sure to pop on over and comment :)

Random Tuesday Thoughts, Second Edition

2009-04-21T14:24:00.005-04:00

* * * * *
I have an eye appointment on Thursday. I want to get my contacts back, but I've pretty much given up on that, since the last THREE kinds they have given me have started irritating the CRAP out of my eyes within a few months of starting to wear them. Feels like I have sand in my eyes constantly, and when I rub them it feels like my corneas are slowly being gouged out with a salad fork. So now I'm wearing my glasses, which not only do I hate to wear because of looks, but they make me break out around my nose (yeah, totally unbecoming) and make my face greasy, AND they are actually from the year BEFORE last, so they're not quite the right prescription. And they're from when we were broke- whoops, I mean even more broke than now- so they are the fugly low-end option ones. I'm going to my eye appointment, but I'm sort of in anxiety over what I will actually DO to correct my vision. I guess get new glasses. But that is seriously a hard pill to swallow. Did I mention I hate wearing glasses? And that they make me break out? And they make my face greasy? Oh, I did? Okay then...

* * * * *

We are considering switching our babysitter, but I am kind of up in the air.

The woman we use now lives over the border in VT, and it's actually about 15 minutes PAST my work to get to her. She is older (I think 60's?), and was a teacher for many, many years so she is good with the kids, but sometimes the age worries me. She also lives alone and I don't believe she has a cell, so sometimes I think- what if something happened? What would she do with all of the kids there? Plus, most of the kids at Ilyana's daycare are a couple of years older than her and will all be starting full-day kindergarten in the fall, so she will lose a lot of playmates then. There's one girl who is around her age, but she just recently cut back to only going there three days a week, and the only other one who is there all the time is a baby, so Illy can't really play with her. Our current sitter takes four weeks' vacation, two weeks in a row in April (she's on vaca now) and then two again in October, of which we pay for two. Her house is very nice and she is great with the kids, but these things have me wondering if this new woman might be better...

She is younger, around my age, and is licensed by the state and first aid/ CPR certified. We are using her this week because she was willing to watch Ilyana on short notice since our sitter is off now. She seems like she is more interactive with the kids she watches (does more activities- the other woman basically lets them do their thing all day) and she provides snacks and breakfast, which my current sitter doesn't. The new one is in my town- so we'd save on gas- and she only takes one week vacation, which is in July, so it's a better time for me to take a week off with the Bend. The kids are all a lot closer to Ilyana's age. Plus, I have to consider (even though it's not right around the corner, but still) that since she's in our town, when Illy does go to school, it won't be near as big an issue to get her to and from school... I think if she was still going where she does now, we'd most likely be forced to switch sitters at that point anyway because she's so far from our town (about 25-30 mins total).

The problem, the rub, is this- do we switch from a good thing now, when we've only used this new girl for a few days, but it seems like overall it would work better for us? I'm leaning that way, but my hubs is worried about it- he's not saying he doesn't want to, but he's worried about that old adage- "If it 'aint broke, don't fix it." What do you think? What would you do? I'm concerned that if we switch and for some reason it doesn't go right (I don't even really want to go there in thinking what could go wrong... you know all the daycare horror stories) we'll have burned our bridge with our current sitter and will feel guilty and awful about whatever it is that happened. Am I just being an overly worried Mommy? HELP! Sorry for the rant. Obviously this is on my mind, and I can't stop thinking of it, and I don't know what to do... *sigh*

* * * * *

Illy has been on a DADDY kick the past few days. When I try to help her with something, she tells me, "NO! Want DADA do it!" Not too great for the ego, let me tell ya. Although I am glad that she has a good relationship with him. I guess it's something to be happy about, when so many kids out there miss out on having a good relationship with their Dad. But it still smarts when I go to pick her up and instead she says, "NO! Want DADA get me!" Meh.

* * * * *

My brother needs to do my back brakes. He promised he would. In fact, he did my front brakes just a couple of months ago, and I TOLD him I thought the back ones needed to be done too, and he insisted that they didn't. They last longer, he said... OH? Then what's that SQUEAKING whenever I slow down? Oy vey, boy! Now I feel bad because I have to make him do it a second time, when if he would have just listened to me...

* * * * *

I think I'm making burgers for dinner. I don't really want burgers for dinner. But I don't know what I do want for dinner that has ground beef, and since that's what I took out for dinner... Guess I'm having burgers. :P

* * * * *
Now that we have storage space, we need a freezer so I can stock up at BJ's. I like being stocked up. We also need to set up Deuce a run. I ordered one today. I don't know where I'm going with this. That is all.

* * * * *

The Bend has been very fascinated with Birthdays lately. All the time she's asking, "Momma? Is it your birthday?" and when I say no, she says, "Dada, is it YOUR birthday?" and when he says no, she says "It's ILYANA'S birthday!!" She's not quite right on that one, either... but it IS coming up, and I need to get cracking on planning that she-bang, now that she's actually going to understand it... And has been building it up in her mind for the past month or so. I wonder what she even thinks a birthday entails? Does she really know, or is she going to be totally weirded out and overwhelmed when the day comes? I doubt that last bit, though... My girl is pretty fearless.

* * * * *

Speaking of fearless, did I mention she FELL DOWN THE STAIRS last week?!?! Oh my god, I felt so terrible! I knew it was inevitably going to happen, since we've never had stairs in our house since she learned to walk and we just moved to a place where her room is upstairs... Luckily she wasn't hurt- I think she actually only fell down a couple of them- but now she's scared to go down by herself, even on her bum with us sitting right there next to her. So we need to work on stair safety and being calm and slow going down them. But other than that? She's pretty fearless.

* * * * *

It was gorgeous out here on Sunday. We all went for a walk together, and it was breezy, balmy and around 70. We actually saw some wild flowers! First ones of the year up here, I think... It made me smile a little on the inside. I'm really sick of dreary weather, it was starting to bring me down.

* * * * *

Did I mention our new house is SO MUCH nicer than our old house? As in, I actually WANT to come home, and I don't mind cleaning up, and I hate to leave in the morning? It's so refreshing to feel this way :)

* * * * *

You can join up with Random Tuesday Thoughts over at The Un-Mom's Blog.

Easter Fun!

2009-04-16T14:28:00.004-04:00

We had a really fun Easter this year! It was Ilyana's first easter egg hunt, and she picked up on it pretty quickly :) It was also our first holiday we have had AT HOME- no traveling, YAY!- and the first BIG holiday meal I have done all on my own. We had my brother, his girlfriend, my two cousins and one of their girlfriends over, plus us, and Will's brother stopped by with his family for a while, too.

I was nervous at first that something HAD to go wrong- when you're trying to plan a meal for that many people, plus an egg hunt, things get a little crazy. To top that off, our babysitter is off this week, so RIGHT after our big meal and visiting, I was sending the girl back with my brother to stay with my Mom for the week... SOB!... So I had to pack for that, too. I was worried that at least one of my dishes wouldn't come out, or I would forget something for the Bend... Or.... Or...

Well, none of it happened! WOOT for me!

I made an 8-lb ham, cheesy mashed potatoes, corn, salad, deviled eggs, filled celery sticks, punch bowl cake and bread. Everyone was stuffed- there was more than enough food- and they claim to have had fun... Of course, I can't really vouch for that, because I was running around most of the day, but I believe them :) I didn't manage to get any pics when everyone was there, because I was busy, but here are some highlights from the hunt, and also a few pictures of my pretty girl all dressed up:

Starting the hunt! I think at first she thought she had to EAT all the jellybeans while hunting, not put them in the basket... But that didn't really work out.

She's getting pretty excited here, realizing that there is candy AND presents all over- just for her!

But here, Momma. I'm a nice girl, I'll share.

One for you, two for me...

Found a Polly Pocket!

I think here she was in the middle of screaming "CHOCOLATE!"

And here she is with her full stash of boot-AY! Including, but not limited to:

ABC letter teaching book
Two pretty dresses and one summerish outfit
Polly Pocket
Other random dollies
Giant bubble wand & bubbles
Oodles of candy
Shovel...
Etc...

And here are some photos I took of my girl all dressed up for the day in one of her pretty new dresses:

See that gorgeous flower bow in her hair? I won it from Kia over at Good Enough Mama for guessing the right goog search! I rock... Oh, right, she does too :) Thanks Kia! Ilyana loves it... It's the first clip she'll let me leave in her hair for more than two seconds without screaming and ripping it out! Yay for you for finding a Bendy Clip!

Now, you peeps should go visit her and say Hi. Or say something snide and sarcastic. Cuz that's how Kia rolls, and she'll like you more if you say something like that than something all ushy gushy and nice. :P

Yes, I realize this is blurry. But how could you resist that FACE?

Ilyana: EASTER IS FUNNN!

Come to think of it, most holidays that are associated with candy are pretty good. And even if for some reason the holiday ends up bad, at least you can drown yourself in chocolate eggs and eat good food till you barf. There's always that.

Wordless Wednesdays #21 Me and My Dada...

2009-04-15T00:01:00.003-04:00

You can find other Wordless Wednesday participants, or join in yourself, HERE.

What she says...

2009-04-10T10:57:00.000-04:00

(1) Will: "Honey, you are going to be TWO soon! *counts* One, two!"
Ilyana: With her brow furrowed down about as low as it goes- "Whad you talkin' bout, DADA?!"

(2) Me: Going about my morning, packing lunches for the fam...
Ilyana: "What you doin, Mama? You makin the foods this morning?"

(3) Ilyana: Carrying Will's pill box, brings it over to him and says- "Dada, kake (take) meds." (Think she listens to me talking to him, or what?!?! lol...)

(4) Me: Sweeping the kitchen floor.. sweep, sweep, sweep.
Ilyana: "Mama I want turn."
Me: Hand her the broom, she sweeps... Then say "Okay, honey, it's my turn now."
Ilyana- staring at me sweeping with a puzzled look: "Mama, is that a great big brush??"

(5) We're driving to work/ daycare in the morning as per usual... Drive by our old house, and I hear from the back seat:
Ilyana: "Look! Yucky yuck yuck house!"
Yes, honey... That's what we thought too :) That would be why we moved!

lmao. Sometimes she just cracks me up. I can't believe how much she's growing, and just how MANY words she has lately! It seems like every day there are more and more...

Wordless Wednesdays #20- Most Uncomfortable...

2009-04-08T12:24:00.005-04:00

You can view other participants' entries or join in yourself HERE.

I Heart Faces- Week 13- My Friend & I

2009-04-07T11:10:00.004-04:00

The theme at I Heart Faces this week is My Friend and I.... I think this one is going to be SUPER cute! I can't wait to see all the wonderful entries...

So, for my Kids Entry this week, here's what I found, from last month:

It could be interpreted in one of two ways: she is looking at herself in the reflection, thinking there's another baby in there, her "friend"... Or you could count her Daddy, who is clinging on to her so she doesn't fall, as the other friend. I wish I had a better candidate photo, but I can't seem to find one on this computer! Drats. I still like this one, though...

For my Adult Entry this week, I chose one of Will and I in Disney back in the days before Bendy Ruggle. We were SO tired in this picture, but had just finished a fun-filled day. I seriously HEART Disney and cannot WAIT until we can finally take the Bend there!

I love playing along with this challenge... I also love that I am learning more and more about photography each week. So thanks to Amy and Angie, founders of I Heart Faces for a wonderful idea that has blossomed into a community of photogs connecting with a single purpose- to share photography of the wonderful faces in our lives!

AWOL

2009-04-01T15:29:00.002-04:00

We interrupt the regularly scheduled blogging for one intense move and a few days of recoup, organizing and unpacking. I apologize for my absence, but I am at least keeping up with my blog reading, and I swear I'll be back soon... Next week most likely :)

In the meantime, if you get bored, feel free to check out some of MY recent favorite blog-reads:

PostSecret

Pacing The Panic Room

Pioneer Woman

The Creative Junkie

The Journey

Pistols and Popcorn

In Through The Back Door

Her Bad Mother's Basement

Good Enough Mama

There. That should keep you busy until I get back! :)

I Promised Fuzzy Birthday Pics

2009-03-26T16:13:00.004-04:00

And what would I be if I didn't follow through on that promise??

Not I, my friends, not I. I shall not leave you hanging, pining for fuzzy Chuck E Cheese.

I actually managed to capture more photos than I had thought. I was struggling with the camera, playing that game- you know-

CAM: *blink red, blink red, shut down*

ME: GrrrrRRR! *Turns camera on* *Snaps a pic she didn't even frame because the camera is about to...*

CAM: *blink red, blink red, shut DOWN!*

Here is 5 year old's Chuck E Cheese birthday, in all its glory. Or at the very least, what little bits of glory I managed to capture that weren't horrifically indecipherable:

What's a party without balloons?? I mean, really...

Funky colored lights. Do you really think Chuck E Cheese needs these?? I'm not sure, myself...

She was pondering the power of the Chuck.

Eating pizza... Or playing with it. NOM NOM NOM!

Our nephew (the birthday girl's brother) munching down...

Party people, get on down.

Dancing with the birthday singers... "You're a birthday star at Chuck E Cheese..."

Okay, I know this is really fuzzy... But he is still too damn cute. Look at those EYES!

Dada Ruggle, AKA Uncle Willie, tending to the chillens.

And one of the very last pics I got before it died for good... The birthday girl about to blow her candle out! Thank goodness it lasted for this very important moment :)

As I said, it was a blast... The kids had great fun, and none of the little ones seemed terrified of Chuck E, which is a plus. Once, we took my little brother there for his birthday... I don't know if he ever recovered. To this day, he still doesn't like masks or people dressed up as larger than life animals... Mom had to put some money in the therapy fund for that one ;)

I Haven't Posted...

2009-03-24T12:04:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted yet about this weekend because it didn't go as planned.

Not that it was bad (on the contrary!), just unexpected. It's a good thing go-with-the-flow was part of the plan from the get-go...

First, Will had his interview in Manch. That was good. I had him drop Ills and I off at the mall to shop for our niece's birthday presents (and of course stop by Old Navy to grab up some clearance stuff for the girl! Can you believe I got a peacoat for next year for 5 BUCKS! And a couple of sweaters for the same price... A ton of toddler winter stuff was on clearance. If you have a munchkin, I'd suggest hitting them up for some steals before they run out!)

So we were shopping, having fun, playing at the play-place in the mall with the zillion and a half kids running around. Then came time for the mall to close. Still no Dada. Uh oh.... I was starting to get worried. Called my Mom for a back-up ride plan, in case. Just as the mall guards were rounding everyone up and getting ready to shut the lights off, he pulls up. WHEW!

Turned out he had to cut the interview short because he had to come get us! A little bit embarrassing, but truth be told, I would have been miffed to have had to wait for him outside in the cold with the todd when the mall peeps booted us out. So he made the right call in saying he had to go. I was also glad that the guy liked him enough to want to chat that long. The interview was over an hour total, so things on that front look good... Will thinks he'll hear from him again, and hopefully landed the job.

BUT. But... The girl usually goes to bed at 8.

So, leaving the mall at 9:40, not getting to my Mom's house till around 10, and then having to say hellos and get settled in... She wasn't even IN bed until around 10:30, nevermind sleeping. That night was, to say the VERY least, rough. On both of us.

She spent about three hours SCREAMING in the middle of the night. She didn't want me, she didn't want to lay with me, didn't want to stay in the pack and play... didn't want sippy, didn't want TV. Nope, she just wanted to SCREAM. Great. Needless to say, she didn't get much sleep, and neither did I. I was thinking that she might have a hard time at Chuck E Cheese's the next day.

Actually, she got through it swimmingly. She loved it, even if it was a little bit of stimulation overload. The party was all-inclusive; I was expecting to have to spend money, so it was a nice surprise that the tokens and even the food for us adults was included! Illy spent most of the day sliding on the slide and riding the carousel- those were her favorites. She didn't really understand the game concept yet; I tried getting her to play whack-a-mole with me, but she was quickly distracted. She did, however, dance with Chuck E, and also high-fived him. She seemed to really like the huge mouse, which was a relief!

Another unexpected- my camera died after taking about three fuzzy pictures. Dammit. Why didn't I check the batteries?! Truth? I still haven't recharged and replaced them. Which is why you aren't getting any of the fuzzy birthday pics here. I promise I will upload them tonight and see if any of them are worth sharing. With moving next week, I've been a little busy... *sigh*

The party was great fun for all :) I, personally, don't mind Chuck E Cheese... I know a lot of people call it "parental hell", but my mom used to bring my brother and I there almost every Friday when I was younger, so I have good memories of it... And though it can be overwhelming, it is fun overall and the kids had a blast. When we left, though... Poor little Illy was SO wiped. After staying up late, not sleeping, and being overstimulated by shiny, strobing, noisy, sugary, dancing giant mouses and rides, she was so done.

So I ended up having to cancel on my Dad and Nana, which made me a little sad. I was really looking forward to seeing Nana after four months of her being away, and I know she was looking forward to seeing the girl. We promised to get together as soon as we can, though... I just knew that if I dragged Bendy on another expedition on Sunday, she would have been miserable and out-of-sorts all week. Which isn't fun for any of us.

This is why go with the flow is part of my mantra. You just never know how things will turn out...

Friday Fill-Ins #18

2009-03-20T15:49:00.004-04:00

1. Why do we have to drive places? Could be rephrased as... Why can't we teleport like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

2. Checking my Facebook and Twitter are now habits.

3. I have tons to do, but not a lot of time! HELP! ;)

4. I had never heard the phrase "it really twerks my butt" and it sort of caught me off guard when my boss said it to me! lol...

5. I'm gonna go with the flow and try to have fun, the way I always do.

6. How was I to know that we'd have to cancel Will's appointments to go to our niece's birthday party this weekend? Oh yeah, that's right... I wasn't supposed to know, because when I asked HUBS when the party was, his response was "Oh, sometime in April, I'll ask him later..." Then we came home to a note on our door the other day saying it was this weekend! LOL! Not that I'm complaining, Chuck E Cheese sounds a lot more fun to me than sitting in the waiting room anyway! :)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to heading to Manch- for an interview Will has, shopping, and dinner- then to Mom's overnight, tomorrow my plans include party for our niece in Manch and Sunday, I want to visit my Dad's family, see Nana for the first time in months, then rush home to prep for the week, make muffins, and pack! AHHHH! This is definitely going to be a PACKED weekend!

You can see other participants or join in on Friday Fill-Ins HERE.

PS: Happy FIRST DAY OF SPRING, everyone!! :) Hoo-RA!

Wordless Wednesdays #19- The Next Beethoven

2009-03-18T11:42:00.002-04:00

Where I'm From

2009-03-16T15:56:00.009-04:00

I saw this on a friend's site and it made me nostalgic. I love the idea, so I had to snatch it up for myself to capture some of my childhood memories, too...

I am from boogie boards and hopscotch, Disney, hide and seek and three-wheelers, from Quaker Oatmeal, Kraft mac-and-cheese and waldorf salad (which nobody ever really ate), Sam's choice and gardetto's at the Y with Mom and scrambled eggs in the morning with Dad.

I am from the apartment above my aunt's in a run-down brick complex with innumerable playmates running around; from the apartment with the pogo stick stashed in the basement that was up three flights of stairs, one of which my brother fell down at least once; from the big red house with the giant barn to match and the gym out back on a shady dirt road- with the sandpits behind it where we could go "sliding" and pick berries along the path, and the dam across the street for us to swim in; from the green ranch with a swath of land that I could run through to get to my best friend's house, where there were ghosts in the cemetery and a clubhouse in the loft, ducks in the stalls and a rusty old yellow behemoth truck with a big orange stripe down it sitting out front; from the place that was two hundred years old and almost too short upstairs for us to fully stand, squeaky creaky floors and a dog pen in the yard, new flowers always blooming along the sidelines; from the three-story apartment with the noisy, cool, neighbors and my special room secluded from everyone else WAY upstairs. I am from so many places, this is merely a beginning...

I am from the lilacs in the yard- my favorite flower still, the mint sprigs growing which we were allowed to chew on, sunflowers taller than I, the prickly roses growing out front, pumpkins which overtakes gardens, chicks and hens, and bleeding hearts passed down like tradition...

I am from pajamas on Christmas Eve, carols at the foot of the steps before presents, olives on our fingers at Thanksgiving and kooky, crazy love that puts the FUN in dysFUNctional, cousins that are friends, people who will always open their door and lend a hug, from Nanas and Peps, Bushkas and Hushes, Cey-ceys and Grumps, Grammy and Peps...

I am from the clan who always runs late but gets everything done before it needs to be anyway and the peeps who can be so stubborn they can't see straight, nevermind admit that they're wrong. Because they're NOT wrong, of course. ;)

From "Don't let the bed bugs bite", "You are beautiful" and "I love you more than the stars that shine".

I am from the group that doesn't go to church, or goes only when the urge hits- which is usually never- because I don't feel I need someone to tell me that there's something larger than me in the world, that we are all connected, and that my own opinions and decisions will echo out beyond me like ripples on water (and for that reason, I should do what I know is right)... I knew it all along. I am from the group who doesn't feel guilty about this. I am from the group that says "my way isn't the only way". The group that finds comfort, spirituality and solace on trails in the woods, butterflies floating on air, sea-salted wind ripping through my hair, starry night walks, and toes that trail in sea water, ebbing in and out of rocks where I hide...

I'm from Dover, New Hampshire, France and Germany, a little bit of everything (if you were to believe my grandmother), from Pep's baked beans, from Nana's tootke, from my Dad's famous ribs with the rub.

From the land of the F*$%IN' CHICKEN!, of bears that eat Reese's, and the people who all have "Tissues"- right, O-dizz?

I am from summers at Kings and Queens- on the big yellow waterslide, playing yahtzee, searching for the perfect marshmallow roasting stick, sitting by the fire and talking. Days (and even a few midnights!) spent at "The Office"- a lazy retreat where there's always penny candy, floats with blue seahorses, lots of sand and too few towels- where it might be possible to swim all the way across if you just do it right. I am from vacations in Millinocket, trips out on the boat (but PLEASE be careful!), torturous hikes, feeding the ducks, playing random golf ball toss games. I am from movies. From hugs. From laughter.

From the place that is mine...

You can get the template to do your own version of this poem HERE.

2009-03-13T15:02:00.002-04:00

1. When I look to the left, I see the sink and cabinets here in my office.

2. The living room is the room that has the best view in my home.

3. Let it work when you need it to.

4. Delicious dinner? done dirt cheap!

5. The education of our children is a responsibility that all qualified citizens must share.

6. If you have any photography advice feel free to share with me. Like how do you manage to remember all this stuff about aperture, f-stops, who-dizzles and what-dangles?? I have read a couple of different books on the subject, but apparently my brain just doesn't want to hang onto that information...

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing and reading some Stephenie Meyer, tomorrow my plans include visiting Mom and Mitch for their birthdays and Sunday, I want to get ready for the week and pack! Only 2.5 more weeks to go till we're in our NEW apartment! woot woot

I Heart Faces Week 9- Creative Cropping

2009-03-09T16:08:00.009-04:00

This is my third week participating in I Heart Faces. I have really enjoyed seeing everyone's portraits so far, and trying to learn more about photography myself. If you haven't checked out their website yet, you really should. It's fabulous.

You can participate in, or see other entries, at the I Heart Faces website. Just click my little link on the site name. :)

This week's theme was Creative Cropping. To be truthful, I was a little puzzled by this category. I'm hoping I got it done, but we shall see... I just wasn't sure exactly what would be considered "creative" for this purpose. I suppose I should just let you see what I've done, and then you can tell ME if you think it's creative, or maybe what you would have done differently?

This week, they are letting us post the "before" and "after" cropping photos, so you can get a better idea of why we chose to do what we did, and also how a small thing like cropping can change the whole feel of a picture.

Here are my entries for the I HEART FACES "Creative cropping" category:

Here is the "before" picture:

And here is the "after", my entry for adults this week:

For kids, here is my "before" photo:

She has a great expression going, but my zitty face in the background and the railing are both a little bit distracting.

Here's my "after":

What do you think? I liked it, but I am a total newb, so I'm sure it's still not the best it could be. What would you have done with it to make it better?

My little girl keeps growing...

2009-03-05T12:16:00.002-05:00

Whether I want it or not, whether my heart aches for each moment I wish I could have frozen in time... For that little, chubby-cheeked, drooling baby girl who popped out of me almost 22 months ago now...

She just keeps getting bigger. Learning more. Helping more. Wanting more. More opinions. More love. More laughter. Yes, some days I miss that little baby... But most days I am just amazed at what she has become, and how beautiful, how intelligent, how wonderful she is.

You grow, baby girl.

I Heart Faces Week 8- Messy Face!

2009-03-03T13:04:00.007-05:00

This is only my second week participating in I Heart Faces. And I have to tell you, I heart it. heh. I know, I'm so witty.

You can participate in, or see other entries, at the I Heart Faces website. Just click my little link on the site name. :)

This week, they singled out us beginners... Which in one way, I don't like- because I can only enter one photo, not one each for kids and adults, like last time. But I guess this balances out, since they asked that if you enter, you be open to constructive criticism. I would be more than grateful for any suggestions or help all you more experienced photographers could offer! Have at it... Just be nice, please :)

And now, here is my entry for the I HEART FACES Beginner week "Messy faces" category:

As mentioned above, please feel free to offer any help and/ or information on what you would have done to improve the picture. I am not great in photoshop (if you're experienced, you can probably tell!) but I did play around with this photo in there to try and punch it up a little. I desaturated the background and tried to brighten up her face some... What do you think?

Edited to add: I really should learn my lesson, trying to change font size within my posts. It always changes a ton of the post, rather than just the sentence I'm going for... And then I can't get it to revert back. DOH! Sorry the text at the top is so miniscule.

Oscar Meme

2009-03-02T11:22:00.003-05:00

Oscar Meme on a Monday...

I stole this from MamaDawg, who stole it from MAW. I guess there's been a lot of snatching of this meme going on.

Here's the idea. You bold (or color differently, or italicize... however you roll) the movies that you've seen. Of those listed. Which are all ones that won Oscars. Get it? Got it. Good.

Let's see how I do. I claim I love movies... Hmmm....

1980. Ordinary People, Coal Miner’s Daughter, The Elephant Man, Raging Bull, Tess

1981. Chariots of Fire, Reds, Atlantic City, On Golden Pond, Raiders of the Lost Ark

1982. Gandhi, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Missing, Tootsie, The Verdict

1983. Terms of Endearment, The Big Chill, The Dresser, The Right Stuff, Tender Mercies

1984. Amadeus, The Killing Fields, A Passage to India, Places in the Heart, A Soldier’s Story

1985. Out of Africa, The Color Purple, Kiss of the Spider Woman, Prizzi’s Honor, Witness

1986. Platoon, Children of a Lesser God, Hannah and Her Sisters, The Mission, A Room with a View

1987. The Last Emperor, Broadcast News, Fatal Attraction, Hope and Glory, Moonstruck
1988. Rain Man, The Accidental Tourist, Dangerous Liaisons, Mississippi Burning, Working Girl

1989. Driving Miss Daisy, Born on the Fourth of July, Dead Poets Society, Field of Dreams, My Left Foot

1990. Dances with Wolves, Awakenings, Ghost, The Godfather Part III, Goodfellas

1991. The Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Bugsy, JFK, The Prince of Tides

1992. Unforgiven, The Crying Game, A Few Good Men, Howards End, Scent of a Woman

1993. Schindler’s List, The Fugitive, In the Name of the Father, The Piano, The Remains of the Day

1994. Forrest Gump, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Pulp Fiction, Quiz Show, The Shawshank Redemption -Guess this was a good year for me! lol...

1995. Braveheart, Apollo 13, Babe, Il Postino (The Postman), Sense and Sensibility

1996. The English Patient, Fargo, Jerry Maguire, Secrets & Lies, Shine

1997. Titanic, As Good as It Gets, The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, L.A. Confidential

1998. Shakespeare in Love, Elizabeth, Life Is Beautiful (La vita è bella), Saving Private Ryan, The Thin Red Line

1999. American Beauty, The Cider House Rules, The Green Mile, The Insider, The Sixth Sense

2000. Gladiator, Chocolat, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Erin Brockovich, Traffic

2001. A Beautiful Mind, Gosford Park, In the Bedroom, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Moulin Rouge!

2002. Chicago, Gangs of New York, The Hours, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Pianist

2003. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Lost in Translation, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, Mystic River, Seabiscuit- I put Master and Commander in green because I never finished it. We thought it sucked- hard- and shut it off about a half hour through. I don't know if that counts or not... haha

2004. Million Dollar Baby, The Aviator, Finding Neverland, Ray, Sideways

2005. Crash, Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Good Night and Good Luck, Munich

2006. The Departed, Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen

2007. No Country for Old Men, Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, There Will Be Blood

2008. Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader

Not too bad... Considering I was a young'un for most of these years... Born in '83, so really you can't fault me too much for missing a lot of those early ones.

What about you? Have you seen a lot of Oscar winners?

Friday Fill-Ins #16

2009-02-27T11:33:00.003-05:00

1. I'm funky, I'm fresh, I can blog just like the best!

2. Why do I have a Scion and not a family car?! (I ask myself this every time I have to HOIST that little girl up into her seat while the front seat slides dangerously back into my legs and butt, almost taking me out. It's not a lot of fun. But I know the answer... Because I chose it, and now I'm stuck with it! At least for a while... *sigh* At least it's a reliable car, and cute, to boot.)

3. How does this silly document protection crapola work, anyway? (I ask myself as I try and complete some more training for work...)

4. Every morning, I put perfume on my body... Clothes were such the obvious answer, I had to think of something else.

5. I consider myself lucky because after eight and a half years, my husband is still my best friend, we are still in love, and we are blessed with an amazingly intelligent and beautiful little girl, who completes our life.

6. One day we’ll see Europe on a dream getaway together.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to maybe stopping by a friend's house to say hi and then going home to chill, tomorrow my plans include working out, cleaning, dancing with my girl and starting to pack and Sunday, I want to do more of the same!

You can find other Friday Fill-In participants HERE.

Wordless Wednesdays #18- Around The Park Plaza Hotel...

2009-02-25T14:29:00.004-05:00

You can find other Wordless Wednesday participants HERE.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-02-24T12:24:00.003-05:00

...You know, because I'm not random enough as it is. Ha. Ha.

...oooh man, I crack myself up.

*Illy is going through a phase right now of discovering her emotions. She has been doing a lot of the fake whiny-whiny lately. The kind where she sits in the backseat (or next to you on the couch, or hanging off your leg) and goes "ehh.... weeeeehhhh.... meeeehhhhh...." until you look at her and ask, oh so nicely, "Honey, what's wrong?" And then she has nothing to say. Or tells you something like "The train stopped." ...Uh... Really? No way.

*She hit her elbow the other day and hurt it, so I called her over and said, "Come here and let Mommy kiss it and make it all better"... So she came over, I kissed it, we agreed it was all better... Then she ran over to her Dora trike and slammed her elbow down on it again. "Ouch Momma, ouch, make it better" and came back for more magic kisses... and again... and again.... and... yeah... you get the point.

...Not that I am complaining about any of this. It's pretty cute to see her figuring these things out. Although, the fake whiny whiny? I'm not a big fan.

*I am baffled at her verbal prowess. Yes, you read that right. She has prowess. Of the verbal sort. She blows my mind all the time, coming out with words I didn't even know she knew yet, making whole sentences. The other day she said to me in the morning as I was busily packing lunches- "What you doing, Momma? You makin' the foods this morning?" Did I mention she's not even 22 months old yet?!?! Is it too early to declare my child a genius?

She also came home from day care the other day singing Mary Had a Little Lamb, which we didn't teach her. Of course, she did learn "Boom, boom, aint it great to be- CRAZY!" From me. Cuz that's how I roll.

*I need new ~~undies~~ ass covers and ~~bras~~ tit slingers. Thanks for reminding me, Kia....

*We went to give our new landlord our deposit for the duplex. They are soo nice and they really like Illy. I have a really good feeling about this place... I hope for this to be the last time we move until we buy our own house :) That would be so nice. Moving ever year (or more) is really no fun. Seriously.

*Our new TV came. Boo-yah. And I actually don't feel guilty for treating ourselves to this right now, even though it's not the best time... Because we just spent thousands paying back debts we've owed for years to improve our credit scores. So I think we deserved it.

*My husband does feel guilty. They just laid off two more people at work. The same day our TV came. He said he felt like a shmuck, even though he knows he shouldn't, because it's not his fault... and we did need a new TV and deserve one. It's just hard to enjoy something special like that when (a) you're worried how much longer before it's your job being let go and (b) you know there are TONS of people out there right now just worried about making ends meet.

*I have a banana today, but I forgot my peanut butter. I don't think I'm going to eat it. Plain bananas are not nearly as exciting as PB ones.

*My little tweet-bird (yes, another nick name for her, I know) didn't want to let me go this morning. She was clinging to my legs and hugging me with all her might... she didn't even want to get down and play with her best friend or go to her Dada. It made my heart break into a bunch of little heart-shards. :(

That's all I got right now. If you liked this, or have some random thoughts of your own to share, visit The Un-Mom to grab the button and play along!

I Heart Faces Week 7- B&W

2009-02-23T12:53:00.008-05:00

I have seen this group all around the blogosphere, and a few of my friends are playing along... Let me just start by saying:

I LOVE it.

And since I totally flaked on that one word challenge I promised myself I wouldn't flake on... *ahem* I know... I know... I suck. I always flake. meh. I figured I would try and join up on this.

Since it's awesome.

So you should go, right now, GO and check out I Heart Faces because there really are some amazing photos there. And it makes you look at your own face- and those of everyone around you- in a whole new way...

So now, on to the entries.

This week's theme is black and white. How I love black and white photos! I was already considering joining this group/ meme because I love to look at the entries... But then I saw this week's theme and figured it was meant.

This, of course, is Ilyana. I just love how she's laughing and has that sparkle in her eye! I was so glad it translated well into B&W.

My little brother Mitch. Isn't he handsome?

PS: I have no idea why that text at the top turned small on me. I can't get it to go back, I've tried about ten times. So... I'm sorry it's tiny, but you'll have to deal with it. I'm not up to fighting with finicky blogger this afternoon.

We Got It!!

2009-02-20T14:12:00.004-05:00

We GOT THE DUPLEX!!

Just found out about an hour ago and I couldn't be happier right now. WOO HOO!!!

Earl said it first, people:

"Alex: Earl, karma is a very complex Buddhist principle. It’s the totality of a person’s actions which determines the fate of the next stage of their existence.

Earl: Do good things and good things happen. Do bad things and bad things happen.

Alex: (smiling) Yeah I actually like your definition better."

PS: If you don't watch My Name Is Earl, go. Get it. Watch it. Giggle. Thank Me. It is an awesome show.