Random Tuesday Thoughts, Second Edition

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I have an eye appointment on Thursday. I want to get my contacts back, but I've pretty much given up on that, since the last THREE kinds they have given me have started irritating the CRAP out of my eyes within a few months of starting to wear them. Feels like I have sand in my eyes constantly, and when I rub them it feels like my corneas are slowly being gouged out with a salad fork. So now I'm wearing my glasses, which not only do I hate to wear because of looks, but they make me break out around my nose (yeah, totally unbecoming) and make my face greasy, AND they are actually from the year BEFORE last, so they're not quite the right prescription. And they're from when we were broke- whoops, I mean even more broke than now- so they are the fugly low-end option ones. I'm going to my eye appointment, but I'm sort of in anxiety over what I will actually DO to correct my vision. I guess get new glasses. But that is seriously a hard pill to swallow. Did I mention I hate wearing glasses? And that they make me break out? And they make my face greasy? Oh, I did? Okay then...

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We are considering switching our babysitter, but I am kind of up in the air.

The woman we use now lives over the border in VT, and it's actually about 15 minutes PAST my work to get to her. She is older (I think 60's?), and was a teacher for many, many years so she is good with the kids, but sometimes the age worries me. She also lives alone and I don't believe she has a cell, so sometimes I think- what if something happened? What would she do with all of the kids there? Plus, most of the kids at Ilyana's daycare are a couple of years older than her and will all be starting full-day kindergarten in the fall, so she will lose a lot of playmates then. There's one girl who is around her age, but she just recently cut back to only going there three days a week, and the only other one who is there all the time is a baby, so Illy can't really play with her. Our current sitter takes four weeks' vacation, two weeks in a row in April (she's on vaca now) and then two again in October, of which we pay for two. Her house is very nice and she is great with the kids, but these things have me wondering if this new woman might be better...

She is younger, around my age, and is licensed by the state and first aid/ CPR certified. We are using her this week because she was willing to watch Ilyana on short notice since our sitter is off now. She seems like she is more interactive with the kids she watches (does more activities- the other woman basically lets them do their thing all day) and she provides snacks and breakfast, which my current sitter doesn't. The new one is in my town- so we'd save on gas- and she only takes one week vacation, which is in July, so it's a better time for me to take a week off with the Bend. The kids are all a lot closer to Ilyana's age. Plus, I have to consider (even though it's not right around the corner, but still) that since she's in our town, when Illy does go to school, it won't be near as big an issue to get her to and from school... I think if she was still going where she does now, we'd most likely be forced to switch sitters at that point anyway because she's so far from our town (about 25-30 mins total).

The problem, the rub, is this- do we switch from a good thing now, when we've only used this new girl for a few days, but it seems like overall it would work better for us? I'm leaning that way, but my hubs is worried about it- he's not saying he doesn't want to, but he's worried about that old adage- "If it 'aint broke, don't fix it." What do you think? What would you do? I'm concerned that if we switch and for some reason it doesn't go right (I don't even really want to go there in thinking what could go wrong... you know all the daycare horror stories) we'll have burned our bridge with our current sitter and will feel guilty and awful about whatever it is that happened. Am I just being an overly worried Mommy? HELP! Sorry for the rant. Obviously this is on my mind, and I can't stop thinking of it, and I don't know what to do... *sigh*

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Illy has been on a DADDY kick the past few days. When I try to help her with something, she tells me, "NO! Want DADA do it!" Not too great for the ego, let me tell ya. Although I am glad that she has a good relationship with him. I guess it's something to be happy about, when so many kids out there miss out on having a good relationship with their Dad. But it still smarts when I go to pick her up and instead she says, "NO! Want DADA get me!" Meh.

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My brother needs to do my back brakes. He promised he would. In fact, he did my front brakes just a couple of months ago, and I TOLD him I thought the back ones needed to be done too, and he insisted that they didn't. They last longer, he said... OH? Then what's that SQUEAKING whenever I slow down? Oy vey, boy! Now I feel bad because I have to make him do it a second time, when if he would have just listened to me...

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I think I'm making burgers for dinner. I don't really want burgers for dinner. But I don't know what I do want for dinner that has ground beef, and since that's what I took out for dinner... Guess I'm having burgers. :P

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Now that we have storage space, we need a freezer so I can stock up at BJ's. I like being stocked up. We also need to set up Deuce a run. I ordered one today. I don't know where I'm going with this. That is all.

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The Bend has been very fascinated with Birthdays lately. All the time she's asking, "Momma? Is it your birthday?" and when I say no, she says, "Dada, is it YOUR birthday?" and when he says no, she says "It's ILYANA'S birthday!!" She's not quite right on that one, either... but it IS coming up, and I need to get cracking on planning that she-bang, now that she's actually going to understand it... And has been building it up in her mind for the past month or so. I wonder what she even thinks a birthday entails? Does she really know, or is she going to be totally weirded out and overwhelmed when the day comes? I doubt that last bit, though... My girl is pretty fearless.

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Speaking of fearless, did I mention she FELL DOWN THE STAIRS last week?!?! Oh my god, I felt so terrible! I knew it was inevitably going to happen, since we've never had stairs in our house since she learned to walk and we just moved to a place where her room is upstairs... Luckily she wasn't hurt- I think she actually only fell down a couple of them- but now she's scared to go down by herself, even on her bum with us sitting right there next to her. So we need to work on stair safety and being calm and slow going down them. But other than that? She's pretty fearless.

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It was gorgeous out here on Sunday. We all went for a walk together, and it was breezy, balmy and around 70. We actually saw some wild flowers! First ones of the year up here, I think... It made me smile a little on the inside. I'm really sick of dreary weather, it was starting to bring me down.

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Did I mention our new house is SO MUCH nicer than our old house? As in, I actually WANT to come home, and I don't mind cleaning up, and I hate to leave in the morning? It's so refreshing to feel this way :)

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