A couple of photos taken in November 09 (yes I am behind!) the night we were putting up our Christmas tree.I have been horrible about updating the blog and taking photos lately. The other day, Bendy, you looked at me and you looked like such a girl... Not a baby, not a toddler, but a girl. It makes my heart ache to think that I have only taken a few random photos in the past few months, and have missed so much I could have documented about this time in your life... but I guess all I can do is try and be better about it now that it's come to my attention.
It's been difficult lately with life flying by at its usual rapid pace, and on top of that, there are a lot of changes that may be happening in our life soon and your Daddy and I have been trying to prepare for them. With thoughts of these big upcoming shifts constantly knocking around in my head, the worrying, the stress, the wondering if everything will pan out how we hope... Well, it's been taking up a lot of space in my brain and I haven't had a lot of time to focus on other things besides work, keeping the house in order, chores, shopping, and the changes. I know I am not being specific here, but these are big changes and there isn't a lot more I can say about it here until things are finalized and I am sure what's happening. I want to be sure, and ready to take the leap, before we announce what's going on.
You have been in a bit of a mood lately, it seems like maybe the proverbial "terrible twos" are starting a little bit late for you. Or maybe, I'm hoping, it will just be a SHORT phase and only last the next few months. Whatever it is, you've been a little button-pusher lately, always testing boundaries, being bossy, not wanting to share with the other kids at daycare when you bring a toy with you, yelling and interrupting and well... TESTING. You are feeling out the boundaries for what you can get away with and what you can't, what you can control and what you can't, and whether or not you can get a different answer out of one parent than the other gave you. It's certainly trying, but then you inevitably pull out all the cuteness stops and get us right back on your side with that smirky, beautiful little smile. When I was brushing your teeth the other day, I did notice you had a molar in there that was only halfway through your mouth. I thought we were past the two year molars already (yeah, I know, shiteous parenting, I maybe should know whether or not my kiddo has all her teeth yet, but really, give me a break, she's my first and I don't know exactly how many teeth kids are supposed to get! *ahem*) but I guess I was wrong. I'm wondering if perhaps the crabbiness and bossiness has something to do with the molars...
Last weekend, during a particularly frustrating shopping trip which included you running around the grocery store like a maniac (I had let you push the mini-cart to keep you occupied, which worked out great in the beginning but backfired on me towards the end when you were too tired to listen or pay attention to where you were driving the damned thing) and rolling around on the dirty floors in front of the other customers on a SATURDAY (aka one of the busiest shopping days at the grocery store), I heaved a heavy sigh. You knew you had been bratty and you immediately knew I was just tired and on my last leg that day, and you looked up at me and said "Mommy. Look me in the eyes. I'm very worried about you, and I'm very sorry." It pretty much made me melt, and made the whole day seem a little bit better. You know just the ways to cheer me up, even when you're the source of the frustration in the first place :)
Your birthday is coming up pretty soon, and I've already booked a spot at Chuck E Cheese for the party. We haven't done one of these at-a-location shindigs yet, but you had so much fun at the last few Chuck E parties you were invited to, and enjoyed it SO much, that we thought this year would be a perfect time to try it out. I've already sent out invites and we're hoping it will be an incredible time for you. You deserve it, sweet pea. Daddy and I haven't decided yet if we are going to tell you about the party being at Chuck E's or if we'll just tell you it's your birthday but let the Chuck E part be a surprise... I wish we could know what you'd like better. Funny story: when I was turning three (I think? Mom? Is that right?) I begged for weeks to have a surprise party. I don't think I really knew what it meant, just that it would be fun and all my friends would be there, and I certainly didn't realize that asking for a surprise party kind of defeats the purpose. But Cey-Cey managed to pull it off, had sent me to Bushka's house the night before and nobody had told me it was my birthday. When Bushka brought me home and I was greeted with a loud "SURPRISEEEEE!!!" at the door by my family and friends, I was terrified! I screamed and ran and hid under the stairs in the hall in our apartment complex, and it took a lot of coaxing for Cey-Cey and Pep to get me back out. I wouldn't want to freak you out like that! So we'll definitely let you know it's your birthday... But I'm thinking you might like the special surprise of Chuck E Cheese more if we wait until we get there to let you know that's how we're going to celebrate.
I have a few new(er) pictures that I have managed to take over the past few months that I keep forgetting to upload onto the computer. I am going to try and get those up here soon because god, you are growing so fast... and I really want to keep this going so you can look back someday and see how loved you were and how much we enjoyed all of our time with you. No matter what changes we go through as a family, no matter how worried/ stressed/ preoccupied we become with other things, THAT will never change. You are the light of our life and you make me smile each and every day.